Breaking the Boundary of Dreams and Déjà-vu
by Kasei-no-hime
Summary: One cold winter morning, Maribel Hearn and Renko Usami's bus finds itself transported into the strange yet familiar world of Maribel's dreams. Yet this time, it isn't a dream. What can you do when you're trapped in a nightmare and can't wake up ? As Maribel's perception of dreams and reality starts to blur, will Renko be able to save her friend from losing herself ?
1. A Cold Prologue

It was an abnormally cold morning : Maribel was shivering next to me under her coat and gloves, and our breaths misted up the windows of the bus we were riding to our university. We were on our daily half-hour commute from our apartment, which only had a few stops along the way; usually, it passed in a flash thanks to Maribel chattering the whole way about her ideas for the Sealing Club, but today, she was too busy burying her face as far down her coat's collar as possible to keep warm.

The low rumbling of the bus, coupled with the stillness of the morning air, had a soporific effect on me : my head had just started to droop onto my friend's shoulder when we came to the first stop.

The doors opened, letting in a blast of freezing air, blowing away my drowsiness along with any warmth that had accumulated in the bus. Maribel let out a small gasp, before clinging onto my arm for warmth. _Silver lining..._

The people who were to blame for the gust of cold were a couple of students that I recognised from sight only, since they always took the bus on the same route as us. One of them was a tall guy wearing a black leather coat complete with metal studs on them and an intimidating frown on his face to go with his overall punkish attire, and the other was a short blond girl, much more innocent-looking in comparison, almost comical even, as she struggled with her handbag packed with more books than were ever intended to be able to fit in such a small place. _Ah, the woes of fashion_. Were they dating ? Did they even know each other ? My knowledge of them started and ended at the fact that they went to the same university as I did; I knew nothing about them, nor did I particularly want to. _Maribel and I form a perfect duo, and anyone else would just get in the way, anyway_. _Even if she does often speak about trying to get more members in the sealing club, with that enthusiastic sparkle in her eyes..._

The two new arrivals sat on the opposite end of the bus to us as the doors closed again, sealing us back into our cold metal box. The bus accelerated, and the hum of the motor grew louder again; this time I wouldn't let my guard down, though, since the next stop was only a few minutes away.

...

Surely enough, we had to suffer through another blast of cold when we arrived at the second stop, but this time, Maribel was expecting it, and had hidden her face in my coat. _Yup, the cold definitely has its benefits._

Another couple of students poured in, one that I recognised, the other not so much. The one I did was recognisable a mile away, though : with his oversized glasses and short, messy hair, he stood out a mile away, as the kind of guy who just screams "nerd !", but I kept those kinds of comments to myself, knowing it would be completely hypocritical coming from me. Next to him was someone else who stood out, but for completely opposite reasons : she was a tall, beautiful, dark- green haired girl with a distant air about her, making her seem intelligent yet unapproachable. I don't think I've ever seen her here before, or at least, I hadn't noticed her, unlikely considering how she stood out. What was for sure, though, was that there were fewer students that usual today. _Probably the cold; I can't say I blame them._ I didn't pay attention to the people I shared my commute with out of interest for them : it was just something to pass the time, to give me something to look as I usually listened to Maribel's chatter. It had grown into a habit, though, and by now, I was fairly confident when I said that someone was or wasn't a regular on our morning commute.

...

Third stop, third blast of cold. I had given up trying to get warm between stops by now, and Maribel had contented herself with clinging to my arm. As the third group of students barged in, all eager to escape from the cold _(little did they know...)_ , I didn't pay them much interest, as something else had captured my attention : Maribel was staring anxiously at something, and following her gaze, I saw that it was the driver. Well, the back of the driver's seat, to be precise, since from where we were sitting, we couldn't see him. I asked her if she was all right, but she only nodded slowly in response. _She's hasn't been herself today. This is more than I she can pin the blame on the cold for._ Still, during the rare times she was quiet, I preferred to respect her desire for silence, and so I turned my attention back to the bus.

The stillness of the morning had been broken by the chatter of the students, now louder than the hum of the bus's engine. This change in volume was usually enough to shake me out of the early-morning floating state between dreams and reality, but with Maribel as quiet as she was, and the cold almost forming a barrier between us and the outside world, I remained distant, lost in my own thoughts. With this amount of people, the windows of the bus had misted up even further : I could barely even see outside any more. The houses and shops all blurred together, familiar through their lights and signs yet distant, as if they weren't quite there, like a fading memory. It felt quite surreal : my mind started to wander, thinking back to the dreams Maribel often told me about. _How I'd like to be able to see all the things she has seen..._

 _..._

I was roused from my daydreaming when the bus came to an abrupt halt. Wondering what had caused the driver to slam the brakes on with such force, I looked out of the front window. My question was quickly answered : a fissure had torn the road ahead of us apart, making it impossible to pass. _An earthquake ? Not uncommon at all in Japan... but for it to have caused damage like this, yet for us to have heard nothing about it..._ Looking closer, the edges of the road didn't seem like they had been torn apart in a way an earthquake would have : they were cleanly cut, as if part of the road had simply vanished without trace.

"I regret to inform you that it is currently impossible to continue along the usual road. An alternate route will be taken."

It was the driver speaking; it was a woman's voice, which surprised me since our regular driver was a middle-aged man. _She must be a replacement driver or something_. "Unlucky", I murmured, not really sure if I was talking about us or the driver. Thinking back, I realised that I hadn't noticed the driver when boarding the bus, even though we had entered from the front, meaning we must had passed right in front of her. Even now, I couldn't get a good look at her. Maribel was still staring in her direction, looking even more worried : I caught a glimpse of long blond hair around the driver's seat, which she seemed fixated on. _Was that there before ?_

"Merry ? Are you sure you're ok ?"

Before I could get an answer, the bus lurched back into motion; I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, one that I associated with the drop of a roller coaster. _We're falling !_ Panicking, I assumed the bus must have driven straight into the hole, but a moment later, I felt it lurching around violently, the sudden change of direction pushing me into Maribel. Through the misted windows, I saw some trees lining the road. _We must be taking the street that goes past the park._

Lifting my head off of Maribel's shoulder, I looked out the front window, but to my horror, it had fully misted up, too : there was no way to see outside, even for the driver. I heard some frightened gasps coming front around the bus : others had noticed, too. The bus had started to gain speed, hurtling down the small street. The trees along the road seemed to multiply : instead of the occasional tree planted at regular intervals, they were now almost a constant stream, their branches growing longer, extending above the bus, replacing the buildings... _Are we in a forest ?_

Just then, a loud crash rang out, and everything went dark.


	2. Dépaysée

A ray of sunlight fell on my face, bringing me to my senses. _Sun ? Wasn't it a cold, cloudy morning ?_ I was confused, wondering how I'd managed to fall asleep on the bus, and why it had come to a stop. Looking to my left, I saw Maribelle, unconscious next to me and with a big bruise on her forehead : seeing her made what had just happened come flooding back to me. _We were in a forest, then there was a crash..._

I looked out the window to my right : sure enough, we were now in a dense forest, and the sun had travelled a long way through the sky, meaning it was already late afternoon. There was no sign of skyscrapers in the distance, nor even a proper road beneath the bus. What was sure was that we hadn't ended up in the park, and that we had been unconscious for hours. I decided to get a better view out of the front window... which I then saw had gone, smashed into millions of small shards that had poured all over the front of the bus, which had crashed into the branch of a large tree. I sat back down, still feeling a bit dazed. _How did we end up here ? This definitely isn't the park, since there's no sign of any civilisation anywhere nearby, so we must be in an actual forest... but the nearest one from the middle of the city is several hours away. The driver could have driven us there after we got knocked out by the impact, but why ? She couldn't even see where she was going, let alone be able to drive us so far away, especially after such an impact..._

As I was going over the events, trying to put some order into them, I remembered the impact, and turned back to Maribel, suddenly worried : I had assumed she was unconscious, but she had visibly taken quite a blow to the head. What if she was...? Remembering my first aid lessons, I put my ear next to her mouth : it was faint, but I felt her breathing. _Unconscious_.

Relieved, I straightened her up in her seat to facilitate her breathing, and tried to wake her up : no response. Now that I knew that she was still definitely alive, though, I felt less worried about leaving her alone to recover : standing up, I made my way to the bus's side exit, deciding that it would be more useful if I tried to find out where we were.

...

Stepping out of the bus, I saw that a group of people who had regained consciousness before me were discussing something : the punk-like guy I had seen enter the bus this morning seemed to be addressing the rest of them, almost yelling : from what I heard, he was trying to get everyone to check the GPS on their phones, with little success. Something about that we were apparently in the ocean...? _Well, I won't be of much help. My phone doesn't even have a touch screen, yet alone a GPS._ Unable to get a proper answer, the punk flung his arms into the air, letting out a frustrated sigh. The blonde girl patted him on the back in an attempt to calm him down; it was then that she noticed me observing them from the side of the bus.

"Oh, another one's up. What's your name ?" Feeling put on the spot, coming into a conversation halfway through like that, I kept my answer simple.

"Renko, huh ? I'm Kinshou Seijou, and this is my brother, Segare. That over there is Koujin Kochiya", she said, pointing over to the green haired girl who stood some distance away. "I assume you're a student, too ?"

Before I could reply, Segare cut me off : "You're not going to go through introductions every time, are you ? I don't care who they are, we just need to figure out where we are so we can call for help." _Rude. I wasn't missing out on much by never speaking to him all these times I saw him on the bus. But, if we need to figure out where we are..._ I looked up at the sky : I'd be able to tell our location if the stars and moon were out, but alas, it was still too bright; the days were short now that we were in winter, though, so with any luck, night would fall in an hour or then, I had no way of telling how far we'd been driven before coming to a stop.

 _Wait, the driver..._

"Where's the bus driver ?", I asked; I hadn't passed her on the way out, and assumed she might be with the rest of the group, but I couldn't see her. "She doesn't seem to be here with you, is she still unconscious ? Because if anyone knows where we are, she must, since, you know..."

My voice trailed off : they were giving me a strange, uncomfortable look. _Oh dear, did I ask something that I shouldn't have ?_ Segare was the first to break the silence. "She ? You mean that fat dude ? The bus driver's, well... maybe you should look for yourself. It ain't pretty, though."

A feeling of dread had started to take hold of me as I walked over to the front of the bus; I knew I wouldn't like what I would see, but curiosity got the best of me. When I was close enough to see the driver's seat, the person I saw was, in fact, the middle-aged man who regularly drove my bus every morning, except now, he had the branch of a tree lodged firmly through his chest, and his mouth was hanging slightly agape, with a trickle of blood running out of the corner.

I felt faint : not only due to the gruesome scene in front of me, but the overwhelming feeling of confusion that was taking hold of me also contributed to my unease. _What about the woman ? I clearly head a female voice. And the blonde hair Maribel was looking at ? There's no way anyone else could switched places with the driver, and I know I saw her, so why...?_ As I exited the bus, wanting to escape this dreadful view, the others had their eyes turn down, avoiding my gaze; Koujin, however, was staring at me with great interest, seemingly unaffected by the general mood. I was in no state of mind to pay attention to her, though. As I sat down against the bus, all I could think of was how I wanted Maribel to wake up as soon as possible, so that I wasn't alone in this situation any longer.

...

Sitting there, I noticed something that only made matters worse : we were in a sort of clearing in the woods : in front of us, the path was much too narrow to carry on down it in the bus, but, looking the other way, back to where we must have came from, the trees were also far too dense for the bus to have driven along; it was as if we had been dropped from the sky into this clearing.

I closed my eyes, trying to get ahold of myself. _There must be an explanation to this. The bus can't have just teleported here. Wait, actually..._ Maribel's dreams suddenly came to mind. _She travels to faraway places in her dreams, doesn't she ? So, maybe..._ With her still unconscious, though, I couldn't go much further along that train of thought; instead, I absent-mindedly started to listen to what the others were talking about . It seemed like they had came to the agreement that they should fetch firewood for the night. _Well, I guess the bus won't be very warm with most of the windows broken... Does that mean we're going to have to stay the night here ?_

"You saw her ?" Koujin asked abruptly, startling me : there she was, barely a metre away, looming over me with the same interest in her eyes as earlier. _Her... the bus driver ?_

"Who, the blonde-haired woman driving the bus ?" She nodded, so I continued. "I only caught a glimpse of her from behind, but I heard her voice when we came to a stop in front of the hole." She nodded again, as if I had confirmed something for her. "Then I was right. Something unnatural happened in that bus. All I'm sure of is that not everyone experienced the same thing in that bus, since some saw a man, apparently the regular bus driver, whilst we saw beyond that..." She was staring into the distance as she spoke : she was talking to herself more than to me. I found comfort in her words, though : I hadn't imagined everything. _We're in a strange, almost supernatural situation, but hey, at least I'm not insane._

She sat there for a while, silent, still staring ahead of her; trying to find something to say in order to keep the conversation going, I remembered that she didn't seem to recognise the driver.

"Do you usually take a different bus in the morning, then ?" A flash of surprise crossed her face as she remembered I was there, before it turned into a frown. _Looks like I read further into her words than she wanted me to._

"I... am not a student. I was merely in transit before getting involved in this... incident." She turned away, before nodding once again, and, looking back down on me, said : "Be careful. This place may be dangerous." And at that, she left me alone again. _So much for keeping her as company. Everyone here is either rude or weird. Must be the stress._ Curiously, thinking that made me realise that, despite everything, I wasn't overly stressed out : sure, I was a bit overwhelmed at first, and the sight of the bus driver made my stomach churn, but as a whole, this felt... _Almost familiar._

 _Well, this is hardly the first time I've gotten into strange situations as part of the Sealing Club. I mean, Maribel brought me into a spaceship in one of her dreams !_

Then it hit me : _this just doesn't feel real to me. I'm treating like this is one of her dreams, like I'm going to wake up at any minute and be back to normal._

I didn't want to delve too deep into that : _if it was a dream, that will make everything easier. If it isn't..._ It was the possibility of an easy way out that was keeping me more or less level-headed in this situation, so I was content to just rely of that hypothesis.

I rested my head back against the bus, watching the others going in and out of the forest, bringing sticks to a growing pile near the bus. Leaning further back, I saw the sky. _The one thing that will always remain constant, guiding me no matter where I am..._ I was a little surprised by how late it was getting with still no sign of any stars; I then heard the sound of footsteps coming out of the bus.

 _She was awake !_

...

"Merry ! You're all right !" Even though I had made sure she was alive, it was still a great relief to see her up and on her feet. She looked around, searching for where my voice had came from, until she saw me.

"Renko !", she exclaimed, flinging herself into my arms. _Well, she definitely is all right_ , I thought, slightly winded by her tackle. "Yeah, I'm fine ! Well, my head hurts, but apart from that... I was unconscious, I take it ? How long has it been ?" Instinctively, I looked up at the sky again, even though I knew there wasn't anything there to guide me.

"Maybe forty minutes longer than I have ? I don't really know, but we've both been unconscious all afternoon." She nodded as I was speaking, as if she didn't really care about the answer; from her reply, it turns out I was right.

"Listen, Renko, do you know where we are ?" She was looking around us with great interest, although there wasn't much to see but trees and bushes.

"The stars aren't out yet, and nobody can seem to locate us with their GPS, so, nope, no idea." Again, she nodded : she obviously knew something, and was leading me into it with her questions.

"Right..." she started, before checking around her again, more furtively this time, as if making sure nobody was listening in on us. "Well, I have an idea. It's just based off a feeling though, so don't take it as fact, but... You know the place I often visit in my dreams ? With the scarlet mansion, and the bamboo forest ? Well, that place is on the other side of some kind of border, and where we are now feels like I'm on that other side. Somehow, I think we've breached a boundary. At least, we're not in Japan any more, I'm quite sure of that."

I wasn't sure how to react : in a way, it answered the question as to how we ended up so far from the middle of Tokyo in only an afternoon, and would explain why I felt like this was one of her dreams. The problem was, nowadays, she was aware of when she was dreaming or not, so if she was asking me these kinds of questions, she can't have travelled here on purpose...

"How did it happen ? You've never done anything like this before, not to mention-" She cut me off, eyes wide open and vigorously shaking her head. "No, no, no ! This has nothing to do with me ! I would never just drag us here out of the blue without asking! And what about everyone else ? No, it wasn't me !" I had thought as much, but hearing it from her was a relief. The relief was short lived, though : if she hadn't brought us here, then this wasn't a dream. And if it wasn't a dream, then we wouldn't be able to wake up. _Also, if it wasn't her, how did we end up here ?_

A flash of blonde passed through my thoughts.

 _The bus driver !_ The mysterious woman must have been the cause behind all this, now I knew that it was nothing to do with my friend.

"Merry, I just remembered something : when we were in the bus this morning, did you pay any attention to the driver ?"

She gasped, the same frightened look from this morning returning into her eyes, as if she was once again staring at the back of the driver's seat. "That woman..." She shuddered. _Yes, she had definitely seen her too._ I wanted to find out what she knew.

"Who was she ? Do you know her ? Why are you so afraid of her ?"

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Finally, she answered me. "No... no, I don't know her or anything. And, I don't think I'm afraid... It's just that, when I saw her, I felt overcome with... with something, I can't say exactly what, but it felt like she was drawing me in somehow, like I could have lost myself in her presence... I felt like we were linked in some way." She shook her head, regaining her regular composure. "It was a bit overwhelming", she said, putting on a smile, "but I'm all right now. Instead of worrying about that, couldn't you fill me in on everything that's happened since you woke up ?"

This was just like her : when a problem seems too imposing, she'd just force a smile, shoving it away for later, telling me not to worry about it either. _Not that it works. I was sick with worry the whole time she was in quarantine after the chimera attacked her._

 _..._

Nevertheless, I played along, presenting the few people I knew by name as I saw them going in and out of the forest, collecting a growing pile of firewood. I also mentioned my conversation with Koujin : it seemed to reassure her a bit that someone other than us two had seen the mysterious blonde woman, too. As we talked, night had started to fall, the first few stars starting to glint in the navy-blue sky. She noticed that I was paying close attention to the sky, and was looking at me expectantly. "So ? Can you tell where we are yet ?"

I didn't answer straight away, turning back towards the clear sky ahead of us : this was the best view of the night sky I had had in ages, since there was no sign of light pollution from any nearby city. _That also means that there is no nearby city..._ There were barely any stars visible yet, since night had only just begun to fall, but from the few I could see, I drew the conclusion that we both already knew.

"The stars... aren't where they should be. I'm not even sure which stars those are. It's as if... well, it's like we're not looking at the sky from the same planet anymore."

We fell silent, not knowing what to say, contenting ourselves with looking up at what we now knew was an alien sky. All day, there had been signs pointing to us not being in Japan, or maybe even not on Earth, but it felt strange having it confirmed like this; the sky was objective, there was no debating it any more. We were beyond lost.

The temperature was dropping fast, and a cold wind was blowing down the narrow path. _Maybe the fire isn't such a bad idea..._ As the wind rose, I heard a faint sound floating on the breeze; I couldn't quite make it out, but I likened it to someone singing.

...

"Renko !"

Someone was calling me : looking up, I saw that Kinshou was calling me over to the group, which had formed around a now sizeable pile of branches. Maribel and I approached them; Segare was trying to set fire to the pile with a small lighter.

"Is she an acquaintance of yours ?" Kinshou asked, looking at Maribel. As I presented my friend to the group, a crackling sound came from the firewood : it had been lit. The sudden warmth was a welcome change from the cold night air, but the flickering light it produced stretched the shadows out in a rather ominous way. I sat down next to Maribel, warming my hands with the fire.

 _Well, here we are. We're all in Maribel's dream world. Usually, it's fun, like some sort of adventure, a game even, but now that we don't have an easy way out, it's suddenly a whole different feeling..._

Looking at Maribel, she was also lost in though. _Is she worried ? She usually has control over these situations, but now, we're lost in this little world of hers..._ That wasn't the only thing that made this different to our usual escapades, though. To my surprise, I felt upset that, unlike when she brought me along with her on her adventures, it wasn't just the two of us. _Here, we're far from being alone. We're not in an adventure together as the Sealing Club, now that's there all of these other people with us... Why should they get to see her world, too ?_

The same sound as I had heard earlier snapped me out of my childish thoughts : now, I was sure that it was singing.

" _Humans inside this forest clearing..._ "

The snippet of song I could make out echoed around us, seemingly coming from everywhere at once. A chill ran down my spine, and I realised that my hand had moved onto Maribel's of its own accord. The night had become noticeably darker all of a sudden...

Unlike me, though, some people seemed to rejoice at the sound of singing : standing up of their feet, some of the guys proclaimed that they were saved, that they'd be brought back to civilisation now that they had found someone else in this remote forest. _What they're saying does make sense; after all, it's just a girl singing. Why does it make me feel so uneasy ?_

It seemed like Koujin felt the same way : rising to her feet, she tried to stop them : "Don't. It isn't safe. We don't know what is out there. Do not separate from the group, or anything could happen to you."

However, her words of caution were met only with laughter from the people she was warning; rallying together a small group in favour of investigating the source of the song, Segare embarked on his expedition, reassuring his protesting sister that he would be fine. Koujin sat back down, silent : I couldn't be sure due to the flickering light of the flames, but she seemed to be trembling slightly with anger. _I'm only worried because I'm a bit of a coward... but she seems to know something more than I do. Is there really some kind of danger out there ?_

The song drifted through the clearing again, slightly more distinct now.

"... _Along this path you should not have come..."_

I couldn't make out the group who had gone looking for her any more. _Has it suddenly gotten darker again ?_

"Merry, is it just me, or is it getting...?"

She nodded. "Darker ? Yes, I noticed it too." Worried whispering could be heard all around the group : it seemed like everyone had been thinking the same thing, and we had just confirmed it. Realising that the others were listening, Maribel leaned closer, almost whispering into my ear :

"Remember the dreams I told you about ? The ones where I get chased through a forest by some kind of creature ?" I nodded; when telling me about those, she was never sure if she could call them dreams or nightmares : sure, it was terrifying, being chased like that by something you couldn't even see properly, but at the same time, it was exciting, and since it was a dream, you could just wake up if it got too much for you. _If you were stuck with the creature, though, with no easy escape option such as waking up, then it would clearly be a nightmare..._

"Well," she hesitated, as if unsure whether she should continue or not; from the look on her face, I knew what to expect, anyway. "Well, it felt just like this. The same tension in the atmosphere, the same feeling of dread looming over me. Can't you feel it, too ?" She looked straight at me, with an uncharacteristic intensity in her eyes. "Renko, this time, it isn't a dream. If something happens to us, I can't... I can't get us out of this."

Her expression had grown solemn, as she diverted her eyes back down to the ground. The song was still audible, seemingly closer to us now.

"... _Anyone, who, this song, is hearing..."_

Seeing her take this situation so seriously was a blow to my morale : Maribel, the same girl who stood cheerfully up to a chimera, was now worried about something we weren't even sure was a danger. _Yes, now, we're not on an innocent little visit during one of her dreams. Now, we're stuck here, and the terrifying things that turn a dream into a nightmare before waking you up, those fleeting moments of fear before you escape back to reality, those moments won't just abruptly end, they'll go on and on, until either you escape, or..._

" _...A youkai's food you shall become !"_

As the song seemingly finished, a blood-curdling scream tore apart the silence of the night : it came from some distance away, in the direction in which the small group had gone. It lasted a few seconds, a horrible, tortured howl, before being cut off by a loud crunch. After a moment of shock, panic spread through the group : some screamed, other jumped to their feet, wanting to flee, but not wanting to end up alone in the unknown of the forest; Kinshou, silent, had gone white with fear. I pulled Maribel up on to her feet, asking her "What should we do ?"

Her only response was a look of confusion and fear; her mouth opened, but closed again without a sound. _She's just as frightened as I am_.

Just then, Segare burst through the bushes, wide-eyed and out of breath, causing another wave of panic in the group until his sister recognised him. "Segare ! You're all right !"

She ran up to him, about to embrace him, but he kept on walking straight ahead, as if he couldn't see her. It truth, it had grown so dark since the scream that I could barely see him, either. As he walked, he was saying something, but it was hard to understand through his ragged breathing.

"The girl... he approached her, but as she turned round... she leapt on him... I saw claws, and wings, she wasn't human... she tore him apart, limb from limb, and then everything went dark..." He broke off, shuddering too much to talk. Kinshou comforted him, holding her brother in her arms, but the rest of the group was now beyond control : people were desperately trying to convince each other to flee with them, to hide, to do something, but they all seemed paralysed with fear; I myself didn't know what to do, I just held Maribel's hand tightly, refusing to let go.

Then, a second scream rang out, as gruesome as the first, which pushed the group over the edge. Some ran off in little groups down the path, while others went to hide in the bus; I was about to run off, dragging Maribel with me, but Koujin stopped me. "Not down the path. We'd be too much of an easy target." She pointed into the undergrowth, in the opposite direction to where Segare had come from. "Follow me."

The idea of running off the path into an unfamiliar forest during such a dark nights wasn't reassuring to me. _What if there's something else even worse in there, something that we won't even be able to see properly ?_ As I hesitated, I felt Maribel squeeze my hand : she looked at me and nodded, her eyes full of determination. _She's right. We need to flee._

 _..._

Off we ran, hand in hand, not even looking back to see if anyone else had decided to follow us or not. We were running into the unknown, the flash of green hair in front of us as our only guide through the forest. The wind was blowing through my hair, rippling through my clothes; the further we ran, the more it felt like we were just the two of us again, on one of our adventures exploring something under the moonlight as the Sealing Club, boundless in our freedom as we made the mysteries of the night our own. I felt a rush of adrenaline, pushing me to run even faster. "Come on, Merry !", I exclaimed in a mix of fear and exhilaration, almost dragging her by her hand. Koujin noticed that we had almost caught up, and ducked further into the undergrowth, gesturing to follow her. We followed, trying to run in spite of the bushes and brambles in our way, snagging at my sleeves, tearing through my tights. Maribel and I almost fell over many times, but we somehow managed to keep each other on our feet, despite almost running on all fours at times.

...

Eventually, Koujin found a clearing with a large tree, whose roots formed a large archway which she ducked under. Maribel and I soon followed, collapsing into a tired heap in the dark entrance formed by the roots.

As we caught our breaths, the adrenaline dropped, and I realised what a state I was in : my arms and legs were a mesh of cuts and bruises, and my muscles were burning from the sudden effort. I rested my back against the large roots : taking in my surroundings, despite the darkness, I could tell that it really did look like a cave made by roots, and thanks to the way the moon was almost straight above us, I could see outside, but it was too dark to see in. _We should be safe here... if we can stop breathing so heavily, at least._

I felt something heavy yet warm come to rest against my shoulder; I was briefly startled, still on edge, until I realised Maribel had leaned her head on my shoulder. I felt my heart flutter : I could feel her warmth, her soft breath against me. It was...

I adjusted how I was sitting, so that I could pass my arms around her waist. _To make it more comfortable for both of us, of course._ Fast asleep, she didn't react. The sound of her slow, regular breathing was sending me off to sleep, too...


	3. Wandering

Something stirred in my arms, rousing me from my sleep : the morning sun had risen above the trees, and was now at just the right angle to be shining straight onto Maribel's face, causing her to stir.

I hurriedly withdrew my arms from around her : during the night, they had tightened around her waist, holding her close to me. My embarrassed attempt to cover up the position we'd ended up in only woke her up faster, though : slowly, she opened her eyes, blinking as she adjusted to the sun outside. _How cute..._

"Renko ?", she murmured, sitting up; now that her warmth had left my arms, I realised just how cold I was. _Considering it's supposed to be the middle of winter, though, I'm surprised it isn't colder.._. "Did... did we escape from that thing ? And where are the others ?" She was looking around her, now that her eyes had somewhat adjusted. I didn't often get to see Maribel in her half-asleep state like this, but it was always a treat when I did : she slurred her words in an adorable way that gave her some kind of accent, although I wouldn't be able to pinpoint it. _Oh, right. I should probably reply instead of being infatuated by her accent._

"Don't worry," I reassured her, despite being as clueless as she was, "we were safely hidden under this tree trunk last night. And as for the others..." It was only then that I remembered that Koujin had been with us as we fell asleep. _Maribel does have a knack for making me forget anyone else.._. "As for the others, only Koujin was with us, but I'm not sure where she's gotten off to..." I offered her a smile, hoping to have cleared the morning cloudiness from her mind, but she only frowned further. "No, not her... What happened to the lady in purple I was talking to ?"

I froze. _Who ?_

"Yeah, you know, the blonde..." She then stopped halfway through her sentence, seeing how shocked I looked. "Wait, you mean, that didn't really...?" She fell silent again, looking thoroughly confused.

 _She had seen her again. And if she could tell how she was dressed, she can't have just been remembering what she saw yesterday. She hasn't left my arms all night, so it was a dream, but knowing how real her dreams can become..._

She seemed to have arrived at the same conclusion. "So, that was a dream... It felt real, though, but they again, they all do, don't they ?" She said, forcing a laugh. _She's worried._ "In the dream, I think she was telling me to find her or something. Her name was... Yukari, I think ? Probably because she was wearing purple. My dreams aren't very imaginative, are they ?" Again, she laughed, but it sounded hollow to me; I knew her too well to not notice when she was trying to cover up her worries.

 _I would be worried too, though. We know nothing about Yukari, except for her name and the fact that she's the one who must be behind all this. After all, if she wants Maribel to find her, that makes it even more likely that she was the one who brought us here, right ? But what would she want with Maribel ?_

 _..._

"Well, no use dwelling on this any longer, right ? It's normal that I would dream about her, since she made such an impression on me yesterday." She crawled out of the organic cave, stretching herself after being hunched up all night. Noticing that I was staring at her, she quickly followed up with something else in an attempt to cover up her worry.

"Doesn't this remind you of that time we went exploring that haunted house ?" I remembered it well : we had heard rumours of an abandoned house far out in the countryside being haunted; since we were the Sealing Club, we were hoping to find something interesting, and so, without giving it much preparation, we set off after class one day to investigate. "What a fiasco that was, right ? When we got there, everything was locked up tight, so we didn't even get to explore the inside at all. And when we wanted to go back home, it was such a rural place that there weren't any trains until the next morning !" She laughed; at the time, we were cold and scared, having to sleep outside in an unfamiliar place far from home, but now, it made for a fun memory. "This is the second time we've had to spend a night outside like this," she continued, smiling fondly as she remembered that night.

"You know, Renko, this is going to be our biggest adventure yet."

 _An adventure ? People have died ! This isn't comparable to one of our little adventures; we're in this much deeper than ever before. Whatever we call this, though, she's right about it being on a whole other level that what we usually get up to._

 _Still, if she wants to keep viewing it like that, it might be for the best. I don't want her to feel overwhelmed, so if it helps her cope..._

 _..._

I nodded; as I placed my hand on the ground to help me crawl outside, I heard paper crinkling : looking down, there was a neatly-written note near placed next to me. Maribel had heard it too.

"What's that ?" I finished clambering outside before answering her question.

"Well, it looks like a message... Oh, it's from Koujin." I finished reading the note to myself : it wasn't very long, and only said the most essential details, much like the person who wrote it did. "She said that there was somewhere she needed to find, but that it isn't a good idea for us to follow her, so she left without us. Then she wrote us directions to where we should go in order to find a good lookout point, from which we can decide where we want to go. That's all she wrote," I said, handing Maribel the note in case she wanted to read it herself.

"Follow the path behind the tree up the hill, turn right at the boulder, and look for the clearing. That should be easy enough. Still... If she has somewhere to go, doesn't that mean she knows this place ?"

She was right, of course. But then again, ever since the beginning, Koujin had acted like she knew more than everyone else as to what was going on. She was definitely hiding something from us, but at the same time...

"Do we follow what she said, then ?" Maribel looked surprised at my question.

"Oh, what, shouldn't we ? I mean, she found this hiding place for us, right ?" _Trusting as ever. Might as well, though, since it's not like I have any idea where to go..._

"It didn't sound like it was very far away. We might as well give it a look, at least."

...

She seemed happy that I had decided to trust Koujin; as we set off, she had a spring in her step that I hadn't seen since the last time we were exploring something together. _She's really into acting like this is an adventure, isn't she... Well, let her have her fun. I'll just have to be the one who worries for the both of us._

On a sunny morning like this, though, the terrifying events of the previous night already seemed distant, almost unreal. It was hard to imagine that the forest we were in, which now looked like a pleasant place for a walk, had a horrifying murder take place in it. Birds were singing, and it was getting warmer now the sun had properly risen. _If I didn't remember the look on Segare's face, if I hadn't heard the screams, I could almost pretend that nothing had happened, that we're just in a forest somewhere, not lost in some kind of dangerous other world..._

 _But I can't. I need to stay alert for the both of us._ I looked over at her : she was marching along, her golden hair bouncing with each step, and a radiant smile illuminating her face. Every aspect of her was glowing with energy; next to her brilliance, I was only a small candle, but I was happy to content myself with basking in her light. Everything about her warmed me up inside, and I was never happier than when I was next to her as she enjoyed herself.

 _As much as she's trying to pretend otherwise, we're in real danger now, though. Anything could happen to us._

 _If I don't tell her soon, I might never be able to._

 _..._

"Ah, Renko, look !" Maribel interrupted my thoughts with a gasp : we had arrived at the edge of the hill, and a vast view over the land around us was now visible.

The view was breathtaking : before us lay a wide valley, surrounded by mountains on all sides. Straight ahead of our lookout point was a vast lake, but it was the mansion sitting next to it that really caught my eye. With its scarlet-tiled roof, it stood out in the surrounding expanse of green forests that were almost uninterrupted across the whole valley. There were some hills here and there, one of which seemed to be covered in yellow, and, in the centre, a path led to a small village far off in the distance. Nowhere was there any sign of modern civilisation : it was as if we had travelled into the past, or at least, to the most remote parts of Japan. _Neither of those is correct, though._

I glanced over at Maribel : her eyes were sparkling with glee, seemingly overjoyed to finally get a good look at her "dream world". She was going over every little detail, letting out excited little noises when her gaze passed over something she recognised. She eventually turned towards me, so excited that she couldn't even start a sentence properly. _Might as well help her out a bit._

"So, isn't that mansion the one you were talking about ?" That was enough to get her to launch into excited explanation.

"Yes ! That's the one ! It was one of my first dreams here, the one where that maid showed me around ! And over there," she went on, pointing to the far reaches of the landscape before us, "you see that bamboo forest ? That must be where I saw that strange creature !" She smiled expectantly, as if she had just proven a point. _What do you want me to say ? It's not like I didn't believe you._ I nodded, returning her smile.

"It must be nice, seeing your world laid out in front of you like this, right ? Like you're admiring a painting you've finished, or something..." Her smile faded, as she seemed to ponder over that remark.

"My world... Can I really call it that ? I mean, those were my dreams, but to consider the whole world as mine..." She seemed to be genuinely considering it; I decided to cut her off before she came to some weird conclusion.

"Ah, no, all I mean is that it must be nice to see the place you visit in your dreams nicely displayed for you like this. It really is a beautiful place." _I always believed she could visit another place, but I never agreed that it was only her dream world. And now that I'm stuck here, I'm even less ready to accept this as something she conjured from the depth of her imagination. So, no, this isn't your world, Merry. It's a real place with real dangers, that we really need to find a way out of._ Not wanting to dwell on that subject, I steered our conversation towards more important matters. "Where should we go first, then ? There's a village over there, but it'll probably take a few days to walk there..." My thoughts overtook my words, and I was hit with a sudden hunger. "...and we don't actually have any food, do we ?"

Her eyed widened, realising the situation we were in. _Could we even make it to the village in time ? That'll teach me to have skipped breakfast, the morning our bus took us here..._

"Well, we don't have much of a choice, do we ? We'll just have to ask for hospitality at the mansion." Seeing my dubious expression, she hastily added, "It'll be fine ! I'm sure the maid remembers me from last time. They were actually very good hosts, so I'm sure we can at least get some food from them !"

Eerie-coloured mansions were not high on the list of things that inspired confidence in me, but I couldn't think of a better alternative, and now that I had remembered that I hadn't eaten for at least a day, my stomach was taking the wheel, telling me to shut up and go along with it.

I sighed, conceding to her plan. She seemed happy, though, so I couldn't stay apprehensive about it for long. The mansion seemed to be accessible if we carried on straight down the hill, give or take the twists and turns the path would take. Since the lake it front of it was so big, we agreed that, should we get disoriented along the way, it shouldn't be hard to find the mansion again once we get to the bottom of the hill, since we'd just have to walk around the lake.

...

We set off on our quest, I myself motivated by hunger, and Maribel motivated by... whatever the glorious source of energy that kept her going was. _Share some of that energy with me, won't you ?_ I then spent the next few minutes of our trek thinking about potential ways she could share energy with me. One in particular seemed like a good idea. _There must be some kind of transfer of energy going on, if it can rouse people from eternal slumber or revert princes transformed into frogs..._ She stopped in her tracks, staring at me wide-eyed. I blushed and averted my eyes, my first thoughts being that she had somehow guessed what I was thinking.

"Renko, I forgot, but don't you always carry some chewing-gum with you ?" _Oh, is that all._ I nodded, hoping she wasn't seriously implying that counted as food. "When you chew something, it tricks your brain into thinking you've eaten, so we'll be less hungry. So, do you have them ?"

Relieved that my thoughts were still private ( _You never know when it's Maribel you're talking about..._ ), I didn't care enough to argue whether those silly tricks actually worked or not, and so, reaching into my shirt pocket, I took out a piece of gum for both of us.

"Thanks ! This'll help, you'll see !"

As we walked, I could hear her chewing. Loudly. Far too loud. I turned to her, about to ask her why on Earth she was making so much noise, when I saw that she was already observing me, waiting for a reaction.

"Why, I already feel completely full !", she said through the noise of excessive chewing. "Who even needs food, right ?" She beamed at me, still waiting for a reaction.

 _Maribel, what are you even on about ? It's been barely a minute, and this is hardly the time for..._

 _Oh. I think I get it. She's trying to cheer me up._

As I realised that, a warmth spread over me; once again, I felt myself blushing, unable to stand up to her beautiful eyes. The innocence behind her sense of humour and that smile of hers was just too much for me. _Why are you so damn cute ?_

I heard her chew a bit more, as if to add even more emphasis to it. I looked back at her, and she started laughing; I soon followed suit. I could never keep a straight face when she was laughing at something.

...

As the laughter died down and we resumed our walk, I felt like some kind of weight had been lifted. _Maybe I have been worrying a bit too much lately, and maybe I should lighten up..._ Glancing over at her, she seemed so carefree, lost in her thoughts with a faint smile on her face. _No. She doesn't seem to grasp the gravity of our situation. Deep down, she still probably considers this to just be her dream world. If she's going to walk headlong into danger, I'll be the one to protect her._

 _Protect her ?_ I realised how unrealistic my thoughts were. _What can I do, explain physics to whatever attacks her until it dies of boredom ? I couldn't even protect myself, yet alone her._

 _Nothing in the universe will stop me from trying, though._

 _...Gosh, love makes you think some stupid things._

 _..._

The rest of the walk down the mountain was done in peaceful silence. Little by little, the forest thinned out, until, when the ground was finally level, we saw the lake, reflecting the sun's rays like a giant mirror. Sure enough, now that we were out of the forest, spotting the mansion wasn't a difficult task. We hadn't gotten too far off the path, and by my calculations ( _guesswork...)_ , I told her that we'd be at the mansion in the next twenty minutes.

I was uneasy : in the forest, we were hidden, or at least it wouldn't be hard to hide behind a tree or a bush if I was to hear something coming. Here, there were still trees scattered around the edge of the lake, but other than that, it was open ground right up until the mansion's gate. _If something finds us here, now that we're weak with hunger, there won't be much I could do..._

All Maribel had done was express her excitement at being near the mansion again : she still insisted that we'd get a warm welcome. _Maybe we will. Can't blame me for not sharing your optimism, though;_ the closer we got to the mansion, the more old vampire films resurfaced in my mind. _We'll knock on the door, and it'll creak open slowly, before shutting behind us by itself as an evil laugh resounds around us..._ The clear blue sky and the sound of singing birds helped ruin that effect, though. _I'm happy we didn't have to come here at night._

 _..._

It was around midday when, at long last, we arrived near the front gates of the mansion. There was a wall all around the mansion itself, which we had noticed as we drew closer, so we had changed our trajectory slightly so that we'd arrive from the front. There was a path leading up to the mansion, lined on both sides by a row of trees and bushes, hiding our view of the main gate. _We'll be there in a minute, though, so it's too late to chicken out now-_

"Get down !", a voice hissed from a nearby bush. I jumped, letting out a small yelp; looking for the source of the noise, I saw Kinshou beckoning us to the bush she was in. Maribel had already started walking up to her, so I didn't have much choice but to follow.

"Kinshou, was it ?", she asked, but she was quickly hushed.

"Shh ! Don't make any noise !", the small girl insisted with surprising vehemence. _I'm starting to see the family resemblance..._

We ducked into the bushes, still unsure as to why we had to be so quiet. We didn't have to wait long for an explanation.

"You're planning on going into that mansion, right ? Maybe to ask for food or something ?" Seeing by our faces that she was spot on, she chuckled bitterly. "Thought so. So did we. Segare walked right up to that gate, he did, and in the blink of an eye, he just... vanished. It's been at least three hours and I still haven't seen nor heard anything from him."

 _I knew it ! I knew something would be up with such a strange-looking mansion ! I can tell this isn't going to end well. I just need to convince Maribel that we should leave this place. We'll find food along the way or something; there must be some fruit trees or berry bushes somewhere, right ?_

I turned to her, about to do my best to pull her away from this bad idea, but she just looked puzzled.

"Are you sure ? He just vanished ?", she asked, her voiced seeming frighteningly loud. "I'm sure he's fine, you know. The people inside are – I mean, I heard that they are – quite hospitable. He's probably just having a cup of tea," she added with a laugh.

That laugh was the last thing I saw of her : a flash of white hair, the feeling of getting grabbed by the back of my collar, and suddenly, I was no longer outside.

I was now in a dimly-lit, stone-walled cell.

 _Without Maribel._


	4. Imprisoned

_Where am I ?_ It had happened so fast that I completely lost my bearings : a second ago, I was outside, talking to Maribel and Kinshou, and now... _is this a prison cell ?_ Looking around, it looked like how I had always imagined the inside of a castle's dungeon to look like : cold cobblestones paved the floor, building up to form solid, slightly damp walls, interrupted only by a sliding grid of metal bars forming an entrance on one side of the cell. Through the bars, I could see a hallway, dimly lit by gas candles lining the walls. The cell itself had nothing : no beds, seats, or even a toilet. _I hope whoever put me here doesn't indent to keep me long..._

 _Worst of all, they've taken Maribel somewhere else._ I felt my heart pounding in my chest as questions started overtaking me. _Why did they take her somewhere else ? Why not put us here together ? Did they want her for something ?_ Remembering the events of last night, I started hyperventilating, leaning on the wall to try to stay on my feet. _Oh god, they're going to eat her, aren't they ? They're starting with her, and then, they're going to-_

 _..._

"Will you shut up ?" A gruff, male-sounding voice rose from the back of the cell; I looked up at where it had come from, and, barely distinguishable from the darkness in the corner of the cell, I noticed who it was : Segare. _Damn it ! I don't want my last moments to be with him !_

"They're not going to eat her," he said in a moody, disinterested way. "They want her for something, so it won't be that." _Oh. Oops. I must have been panicking aloud._ I straightened up, trying to conceal my embarrassment. After taking a few deep breaths and sitting down with my back against the wall, I decided to try and get the most out of him possible.

"How do you know ? Were you able to talk to them ?" I hear an annoyed grunt from the shadows, but he decided to answer me anyway. _That's right. It's not like you have anything better to do._

"I was thrown in here a few hours ago. Some kinda maid eventually came in, asking 'bout some blond haired chick. I thought she meant my sister, but her description didn't fit. Your friend, though..."

"Is that all ? Did she say what she wanted her for ?" The brief vision of the person I saw as I got transported here crossed my mind. "Oh, did the maid have silvery-white hair ?"

Another grunt, affirmative-sounding this time. _What an eloquent person._ "Yeah, that's the one. And no, that's all she said." He seemed to hesitate for a bit, before falling silent again.

...

I didn't have anything else to say to him anyway, as he shuffled around in the darkness to turn his back to me. Knowing that Maribel hadn't been taken away to be eaten, or something equally... fatal, reassured me a bit, but I was far from able to say that I wasn't worried. _They could have lied to him, or wanted something from her and end up killing her anyway, or.._.

I felt empty. They had separated us, the one thing I was most afraid of. _Without her, what am I even good for ? She's the one who gives me energy, the one who gives me the motivation to do anything. If they separate us for good, I don't even know what I'll do..._ I was feeling the effects of Maribel-withdrawal already. Without her shining smile, her golden hair, her warm, gentle kindness, I quickly grew dull, withdrawing into myself. _It was her who reached out to me and got me to open up, who managed to make me to smile with her; she lit up my days, and now..._ I felt tears choking me up, despite doing everything I could to suppress them. It wasn't just the despair from being separated, though; the tears were also tainted with bitter frustration. _I knew something was going to happen ! I told myself, since we're in danger, that I might not get the chance to tell her how I feel for very much longer, but no, I waited anyway ! And now look what's happened !_ I couldn't hold them back any longer, and, hunched up in a ball, I buried my face between my arms, starting to sob quietly. _This isn't an adventure anymore. This isn't fun. I just want to go home. I just want to be with her, without having to fear for our lives. I want to wake up from this nightmare !_

 _..._

I sat there, crying, for what felt like ages. Eventually, the tears ceased, but the emptiness inside me and the resentfulness I felt towards myself remained; I started trying to rationalise the situation, in an attempt to feel better. _It might not be that bad. After all, I know nothing about the people here. They might not eat people ! They might just want to talk to her, and then they'll let us go, and we'll be together again !_ I laughed nervously. I was never good at calming myself down when Maribel was potentially in danger. When I learned that she had to go into quarantine after the chimera attack, because she had an "unknown disease", my reaction had been similar : the worst-case scenarios had clouded over my usual level-headedness, despite how much I tried to tell myself I was being unreasonable. _This situation is just terrible, though. Not only am I separated with here, but we're in her stupid, dangerous dream world, and to top it all off, my last contact with humanity might well be... him._

I had already decided that not talking at all was better than trying to talk to him, but I kept feeling compelled to ask him meaningless questions, not because I thought he knew the answer, but to seek reassurance, confirmation : _will she be alright ? Will I get to see her again soon ? Does she feel the same way about-_

 _..._

Just then, the iron bars slid open slightly : a maid with silvery hair had walked right up to our cell without me even hearing her coming. She placed a tray on the ground, and was about the close the cell again when I leapt to my feet.

"Wait !", I called out, trying to seize the only link I had between myself and Maribel right now. She carried on closing the bars, but turned to face me once it was securely shut again, staring at me through the gaps in the bars, silent.

"Why are we here ? More importantly, what have you done with Mari... with the blonde haired girl in the purple dress ?" She stayed silent for a while, and I was worried she was going to leave without answering; finally, though, she spoke up.

"The Mistress has a proposition for Maribel. Until the discussions are finished, you may not see her." She turned, about to walk away.

"Wait !" I was desperate; I needed to know more, to be sure she was safe; only then could I even begin to calm myself. "Will I get to see her after the... the discussions ? Will... will she be safe ?"

She remained motionless. "The fact that you two are here should be enough to guarantee her safety, for now." She then turned, revealing a sinister smile, made even more frightening due to the flickering light of the gas lamps. "As to whether you will see her again or not... That depends solely on her. Even if you do, whether or not you recognise her or not is another matter."

I blinked, and she had gone.

...

I sat back down, feeling heavy with dread. _Whatever they're discussing, this isn't going to end well. What could they possibly to do her that would make me not recognise her ?_ Flashes of various kinds of torture passed through my head, but I quickly blocked them out; I couldn't even bare to think about that. Trying to forget what I had just thought, I remembered the tray that had been placed on the ground : crawling over to it, it saw that on it, there were two glasses of water, and two small loafs of bread. I grabbed one of each, before glancing over at Segare to make sure he wasn't about to yell at me for taking food; he seemed to be sleeping, from what I could tell. _How ? How can you sleep here ?_ Without thinking any further, I took a bite out of the bread, and drank down most of the cup, before freezing. _Oh no. This could easily be poisoned._

 _...Well, the damage is done, right ? Might as well not be hungry as I die, cold and alone._

Honestly, I didn't really believe it was poisoned, since it would be waste. The way the maid had said that the fact that we here certified Maribel's safety could only mean one thing for me : the "mistress" wouldn't go hungry as long as we were there to satiate her, which meant Maribel could continue discussing whatever it was they had taken her for. _They feed the humans, and then they eat them. That's how cattle works, right ?_

 _Well, I'm no idle cow. I'll be putting all the chances on my side._

Glancing over at Segare to make sure he was still asleep, I carried the tray over to my side of the cell, placing it in such a way that my own body almost blocked it from his sight. I then crammed the remaining loaf of bread into one of my pockets; it bulged out in a most conspicuous was, but with the lack of proper lighting, I hoped he wouldn't notice.

 _For Maribel, if they haven't fed her._

 _..._

Nothing happened for the next few hours. Multiple times, I was tempted to eat the bread myself, but I resisted, reminding myself who it was for. _If I ever see her again._ I was also tempted to walk around the cell, in the vain hope that there was a loose stone in the wall or that the metal bars weren't properly closed, but Segare had made some noise, probably waking up, and I didn't want him to see the tray. I felt bad, depriving him from what might have been his only meal for two days, but I couldn't just give it to him now, after having hid it for a few hours. So, having dug myself into inaction, I spent most of the afternoon sitting on the cold stone floor, thinking, worrying, wishing I was reunited with Maribel.

 _Until now, I didn't realise how hopelessly in love I was with her. But now, seeing what a useless mess I am without her, there's no doubt in my mind about it. At least that'll make it easier to tell her if we both get out of this alive, right ?_ Despite the bitterness with which I reminded myself that I might have missed my last chance to tell her how I felt about her, those thoughts were my lifeline : over and over, I imagined our reunion, playing out different scenarios in my head. Sometimes, she came to rescue me, and we fled in the dead of the night, leaving this terrible mansion behind us; once we had gotten to safety, she would fall into my arms, and I would embrace her, telling her how much I cared about her... Or, even better, next time the maid came, I'd set some kind of trap for her, and burst out of the cell, finding Maribel, and bringing her to safety, maybe even carrying her ? Yes, and as I carried her, I would tell her, and, like in every one of the scenarios I played out in my head, she would reveal that she, too, had always loved me...

And every time, a little voice at the back of my head never failed to remind me :

 _You may never see her again._

 _..._

Without any sign of daylight, I had completely lost track of time; it was only when the maid visited for a second time with another tray of food that I realised it must be evening. Noticing that I was going to talk, she cut me off before I even started.

"The Mistress has decided to let your friend think about her proposition overnight. There will be no new developments until morning. I suggest you go to sleep after eating. Tomorrow morning, your fate will be decided." And at that, she left, ignoring my pleas for more information.

 _Well, this is it for now, then._ I looked at the tray : despite being terrible hungry, having only eaten a single loaf of bread in two days, the mere sight of it repelled me; I felt sick to my stomach, although I knew it was from worry. _They just expect me to eat my dinner and go to sleep like a good little prisoner. Do they realise how difficult either one of those will be ?_ I barely paid attention when Segare went up to the tray, not caring if he took mine or not. _I'd have deserved it anyway._ However, before slinking back to his corner of the cell, I noticed him staring at me. Looking up at him, he appeared to be on the verge of asking me something, but couldn't seem to bring himself to do so.

"What is it ?" I asked, trying not to sound excessively cold.

"Did... did you see what they did to my sister." He mumbled, the end of his question trailing off until it became almost inaudible. _So despite your prickly exterior, you do have a semblance of feelings, hmm ?_ He raised a good point, though : I had been so preoccupied worrying about Maribel that Kinshou had slipped my mind. Thinking back, I told him the little I knew.

"She was still in front of the mansion just before Maribel and I were captured. She had been hiding in the bushes for a few hours, but since the maid seems to be able to teleport, I was in here before I even knew what was going on."

"So if she got caught, it's because you two came along." After that remark, he went to sit back down where he had been all day, without another word. I was burning with anger, tempted to throw the tray right at his stupid face. _You think I wanted us to be captured ? Maybe if you hadn't been so damn useless, none of us would be here !_ I sat there, seething for a while, before deciding that I had more important things to worry about.

...

We didn't say a word the rest of the afternoon, preferring to pretend that we were invisible to each other. From having sat again the cold walls for so long, I was stiff all over, which only encouraged me further to not move at all.

 _Tomorrow morning. On the bright side, I have a deadline, now. Whatever happens, at least I won't be in this horrible state of uncertainty... So, bring it on. Either give me hope, or crush it out of me for good._

Somehow, I must have drifted off, because I spent the whole night haunted by horrible visions of what could be happening to Maribel. When I awoke, I barely felt like I had had any rest at all; my entire body was sore and cold, and it took a good ten minutes just to get myself moving without being in pain. I still had no way of telling the time; I remembered my phone, which I hadn't used since the bus brought us here, but the batteries had died anyway. Going by the feeling of anticipation that was boring a hole in my stomach, I guessed it must be morning.

...

The sound of the metal bars opening confirmed my hunch. The maid had appeared silently in front of our cell once again. This time , she opened the cell wide open, and, addressing both of us, said :

"Maribel will now make her decision. It will affect the both of you, so the Mistress wishes for you to be present. You will now follow me."

Segare had dropped his act of disinterest, scrambling to his feet now that there was a sign of hope. The maid started to walk back down the corridor. _Not going to warp us this time, hmm ?_ I wondered if it was to built tension or something; if it was, it was working. The idea of finally seeing Maribel again was making me tremble, both out of excitement and out of fear that they had done something to her. The corridor branched out in other directions after a while : arriving at one of these intersections, we were ordered to stay put. The maid left, and, less than a second later, was back with Kinshou in tow.

"Segare !", she exclaimed, running up to him, but she was stopped by a flash of silver metal : the maid had taken out a dagger, and was holding it between the two siblings.

"No talking. Keep your distance from each other."

We had no choice but to keep walking in silence; despite the fact that they weren't allowed to talk to each other, I still felt bitter with jealousy that Segare and Kinshou were reunited : at least they knew that the other was safe and unharmed. All I knew was that Maribel was alive. Eventually the corridors lead to a staircase, bringing us out of the underground part of the mansion and into a different hallway, which was now carpeted and furnished : we were now in inhabited part of the mansion. What was striking about the interior, now that I was seeing it properly, was that, even though it was morning, the windows were all covered over with dark red curtains, giving the light in the mansion a scarlet tinge. Along the walls were the typical things I had imagined would be in an old mansion : suits of armour, large oil paintings, expensive-looking vases... At the end of the corridor was a large, wooden door, which our warden pushed open, leading us into a vast room : a red carpet led up to a small flight of stairs, which served only to elevate a throne, on which was sitting... a young girl.

...

As I approached, the young girl was staring at me, never breaking eye contact, smiling maliciously the whole time; by the time I was in the place the maid ordered us to stand, I noticed that her smile revealed a pair of large, sharp-looking teeth. She was wearing a pink dress with a red ribbon around the middle, with what looked like a night cap on her head. But the most noticeable aspect was what lay behind her. _Are those... wings ?_ Sure enough, she had a pair of thin, fleshy wings, which reminded me of those of a bat. Despite her small stature and childish clothing, she still had a certain aura of imposing power around her, making me only more nervous. _So this is the "mistress", then._

On the other side of the room, another door opened, and out came the maid (who seemed to have vanished as I was entranced by the young girl), followed by Maribel.

 _Maribel !_

I started to run up to her, but the girl on the throne stopped me. "Stay where you are ! For now, you are my prisoner. You will keep your distance to her." Her voice carried a surprising air of authority despite its juvenile qualities; I stopped in my tracks, unable to defy her. The maid brandishing her knife also didn't encourage me to try anything daring. Maribel had gotten closer anyway : observing her as closely as I could, I couldn't notice any signs of physical harm. She seemed tired, though, and I felt my heart constrict when I noticed she was deliberately avoiding eye contact.

...

The maid led her to the bottom of the flight of stairs, before going to stand next to her mistress's throne. This put Maribel under a lot of pressure, both from her height disadvantage as well as being two against one. _They clearly know what to do to put someone under pressure._ Straightening up in her seat, the winged girl finally spoke.

"As you are well aware, I am Remilia Scarlet, the head of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, in which we are all standing." She glanced over at me with a sly smile : this was clearly aimed at me. "Yesterday, I made a proposition to Maribel Hearn : I could offer her the power to guarantee her safety, as well as the safety of anyone she cared for. In exchange, she would become... one of us. A vampire."

She paused for effect, a grin spreading across her face. _A vampire ? She really is one ?_ It seemed obvious enough from everything I had seen, but I hadn't yet admitted to myself that we really were in a world where we could be face-to-face with a vampire. _And yet, she wants to make Maribel one, too ? Why ?_ In a few short sentences, the vampire had completely shattered any expectations I had about what they may have been talking about, plunging me into a completely unforeseen situation. _What would it mean, anyway ? The power to protect people ? Vampires must be powerful, but there has to be a catch..._ There was an obvious one right all around me, wherever I looked : the curtains blocking the sunlight were there for a reason. _Would she never be able to go outside again ?_

"As of last night, you were... not quite convinced by my proposition. I gave you ten hours to think about it, and now, I ask for your final answer." She stood up, flaring her wings. "Maribel, do you agree to my proposition ?"

Maribel had lowered her head : she had huge, dark rings around her eyes, and she was paler than usual; evidently, she had spent a good deal of time restlessly thinking about it. _They were discussing it all day, as far as I know, so she must have had more to go on to make her decision. For a start, does she know what will happen to us if she refuses ?_ I shuddered : I could imagine a great deal of unpleasant things that could happen. _But then, the only choice is..._ I started panicking again, starting to hyperventilate, thinking about the choice that was offered to her. _Maribel ? A vampire ? She can't live like that !_

She finally looked up : fixing Remilia straight in the eye, she started to speak, but her voice sounded different somehow, more mature, with an almost mysterious tone to it : it was barely recognisable as the Maribel I knew and loved.

"I have reflected on your proposition all night, and I have chosen to decline it," she answered, staring defiantly at the young vampire; her eyes almost seemed to be glowing with an eerie purple light. _It must the strange lighting of this place, surely..._ "If I am to shape this world, it will be without allowing myself to be subjugated to anyone. I hold the power over this place in my own hands, so I will not be needing your help."

I stopped breathing so heavily, mostly due to once again being dreadfully confused. _What is she saying ? The power to shape the world ? You don't have anything like that..._ A flash of surprise passed over Remilia's face, but she quickly hid it with another grin. "So, you say you have all the power you need already, is that right ?" She chuckled, until, all of a sudden, her face twisted into a frightening grimace.

"You three. Step forwards."

There was no resisting her orders, especially now that there was an enraged fire burning in her eyes.

"Human," she growled, addressing Maribel once more, "my offer was a generous one, one that few people have ever been graced with." She sighed, but it was an exaggerated sigh; seeing the grin on her face afterwards, this had all been planned ahead. "After rejecting my offer, you intend to simply leave this mansion, do you not ? As we both know, I have no choice but to leave you alive, but you must also realise that these three will die. Was I sufficiently clear when saying that ?"

A small gasp escaped from Maribel's lips : for a second, she seemed to return to her usual self. This impression was quickly gone, though, as she regained composure. "I would never forgive you," was all she replied, but she did in such a menacing way that it felt like a real threat. My mind was reeling under the circumstances. _Since when is she important enough to be able to bargain with a vampire ? And what was that about the vampire having no choice but to keep her alive ?_ I felt like I was no longer watching the conversation between my best friend and a dangerous vampire, but instead, a struggle of influence between two powerful creatures, way above the level of a simple university student such as myself. _What have they done to her ?_

The vampire chuckled again, looking content : she was back in control again. "Ah, is that so ? Well, I wouldn't want that now, would I ?" She started approaching us, her smile growing more and more menacing as it came closer. "Well then, if it means getting on your good side, I suppose I can offer you my generosity... in a limited quantity, of course." She was now near the bottom of the stairs : she stopped as close as she could to us whilst keeping herself a head higher than us. "This is my final offer, _human,"_ She said, exaggerating that last word in a sarcastic fashion. "You may leave this place, without becoming a vampire. What's more, these three will not all have to die." She paused, revelling in the tension in the air, as if daring us to ask what the catch was.

"No. They will not all die here. Only two of them will, and it will be your choice who the lucky survivor is. Let's see how you like the feeling of shaping the world, hmm ?"

Her grin widened, as the impact of her words hit the group. We all fell silent : Maribel looked horrified, Segare has completely lost any semblance of composure, and I... _I didn't want this for her ! Even if she does choose me, she'll be burdened with guilt for... forever, maybe ! She's trying to turn Maribel into a monster !_ I glared at the vampire, my eyes burning with anger; she returned it with a smug smile on her face. _This is exactly what she wanted to happen. That bitch !_

"I accept." Maribel's words surprised me : once again, they had become unrecognisable from her usual voice. "As much as it pains me to sacrifice anyone, you present me with no other choice. It is Renko that I have decided to save."

Remilia nodded slowly, still smiling a sadistic, horrible little smile. She then signalled to her maid to take the siblings away : Segare tried to flee, but she appeared behind him, subduing put putting his arms into a lock behind his back and a knife to his throat to stop him from flailing around as he screamed for his life. Kinshou didn't even try to escape; her knees gave way and she crumpled to the floor in silence. I was rooted to the spot, too shocked to react. Soon, the maid had them both under control, and dragged them away; they soon disappeared, leaving only the echoes of his screams ringing in my ears. All I could think about was how, if it wasn't Maribel, I could have been with them. Deep down, very faintly, I felt a disgusting hint of joy because she picked _me._ _Despite how different she seems, despite what they may have done to her, our friendship must count for something, since I was the one she spared._ I was sickened by my own cowardice, realising that, at my core, I was still happy that others could die as long as it meant I would live and be reunited with Maribel. _Humans are disgusting, selfish creatures_ , I thought, as I realised that I was trying to justify myself by thinking _it's only a faint feeling, I'm not happy to let them die, and after all, I'm too shocked to think straight._ I was shocked, but I could still think, and right now, I was thinking that, despite having survived, I may have somehow lost Maribel in the process. That was the thought that was really disturbing me to my very core.

...

"You are now free to go," resumed the vampire, as if nothing of consequence had happened. "Remember that, in the current situation, I could have killed the both of you where you stood, yet instead, I'm parting with two valuable sources of food by letting you go. Despite how you may feel about it now, I do hope you'll always remember the generosity I have shown you today." At that, she walked away, cackling cruelly to herself. "It seems you do have some Youkai in you, after all," she added with a spiteful smile, before disappearing out of my field of view.

I was still frozen there, motionless, when I felt Maribel take my hand. "Let's get out of here quickly, shall we ?" I let her drag me along behind her; I didn't feel any of the usual warmth from her touch, though, and were words rang hollow, as if void of any emotion. I was still in shock from what I had just witnessed, and from the fact that I hadn't even attempted to do anything to help them. _But what could I do ?_

We left the mansion in silence; I was unable to muster up the strength to ask her anything, and what's more, I felt intimidated by the presence of this person who looked so much like the person I loved, but who, inside, seemed completely different to her.

...

We eventually left the mansion grounds, and, finding a place to rest, she led me to a tree to sit under. I sat there for what felt like over an hour, still holding her hand, but feeling like I was holding the hand of a stranger, or, worse, that of a corpse.

"How..." The sound of my own voice surprised me, stunning me back into silence; I hadn't meant to say anything out loud, not knowing where I would even begin. She heard, though, and, turning to me, asked : "How ? How could I do it ?" I nodded slowly.

She sighed. "Renko, what choice did I have ?" Hearing my name said in her strange voice felt alien, sending a shiver of disgust down my spine. _What choice...?_

"Renko," she said again, now with slightly more emotion in her voice. "The truth is, from the moment we were taken into that mansion, I had no real choice. I was talking to her for hours, and the more she explained, the more I realised that, ultimately, I would have no easy way out." I took this as an opportunity to finally clear up some of the questions that were burning inside me.

"What was it you were talking about ? What is this power the vampire kept talking about ? Why... why ?" My voice was quavering, making me unable to finish talking. She answered anyway, in a patient voice that sounded like she had already thought of the answer a long time in advance.

"The vampire told me I had an important role to play in this world; that, one day, I would be of great importance, and would have the power to shape this world as I desire. She twisted her story around, though, saying that, without her help, I may not live long enough to gain that power, nor even be able to protect the people I care about." _The people she cared about..._ As she said that, her voice had seemed to regain a bit of her old self in it, but that disappeared as quickly as it had came when she continued. "I was almost ready to accept. After all, all I had to do was sacrifice some silly things like going out in the sunlight and crossing running water, and, in exchange, I would be able to get us all home safely. It seemed like a good deal, right ?" I nodded absent-mindedly. _What she says seems to make sense, but..._

"I told her I wanted a night to think about it, though. I do lots of thinking by night, and sometimes I get the best ideas in my dreams, so I decided to give it a try. Unable to find a decisive answer, I ended up drifting asleep. And that's where I saw _her_ again." She saw me look up at her, eyes full of shock. "Yes, that's right. Yukari came to talk to me during my sleep. She... she explained a lot to me, this time. She told me that this place is my dream world, and that because of that, I had the power to shape it. At first, I told her that I had no reason to want to do such a thing, but in response, she showed me... she showed what would happen if I didn't take control." She looked straight at me : there was sadness in her eyes, and the strange purple tinge I thought I had seen since she was in the mansion had gone. "She told me I couldn't become a vampire : if I did, I would be subduing myself to the young mistress, and she would end up manipulating me in order to shape the world as she saw fit. Plus, the weaknesses that come with being a vampire would have been too limiting, apparently..." She had a pleading tone in her voice as she continued. "Don't you see, Renko ? I didn't have any choice at all ! The vampire was trying to get hold of me when I was still naive and powerless, but now I know what kind of role I will play here, I couldn't just let her have her way ! She's powerful, though, and her pride surpasses even her power : after having talked with her most of yesterday, I knew that when she said it was her final offer, she wasn't joking. Besides, if this is really all just a dream world, it doesn't matter if he dies, right ? Right ?" She sounded desperate, almost shouting; when she saw that I didn't know what to say, she dropped back down into a barely audible whisper. "Besides, if Yukari's right, as far as everyone at home is concerned, we're already..." She was cut off by her own tears : "when it came down to the choice, Renko, whatever happened, I just couldn't bear to part with you," she wailed, burying her face in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her : she was back to her normal self, for now.

...

 _This is what I needed to know,_ I thought, running my hands through my friend's hair as she sobbed, buried against my chest. _The real enemy here isn't Remilia, or any monsters hidden in the forests, and it certainly isn't Maribel herself._

 _The real enemy is Yukari. Because of her, Maribel is losing her grip on reality. Just a dream world ? Doesn't matter who dies, since she'll have the power to shape the world ? Those are not her own words. She may have always had her own, strange view on the difference between dreams and reality, but she would never go this far of her own accord. Back there, those heartless words, that lack of compassion ? That wasn't Maribel speaking, it was Yukari._ I felt a surge of anger at the thought that Maribel was being manipulated right to the very essence of her thoughts. I still had so many questions for her : why did the inhabitants of the mansion treat Maribel so poorly, after having been so hospitable the first time ? And why did she seem to trust Yukari so much ? I wanted to know, but I knew my questions would have to wait. Holding the person most dear to me in my arms as she cried her eyes out, at that very moment, I made a vow : the vow that, from now on, I would do everything in my power to prevent Maribel from losing herself.

 _She belongs to me, Yukari. I will not let you have her._


	5. Powerless

" _Renko ? I'm going to be all right, aren't I ?"_

 _Evening had started to fall, and the last few golden rays of the sun were pouring through the windows into the almost empty train we were riding home in. Maribel was leaning against my shoulder, her beautiful eyes full of worry, as she asked me questions I didn't know the answer to. It had been a long day._

" _I'm not going mad, am I ?"_

 _..._

 _Was she ? It was difficult for me to answer with any degree of certainty. Maribel had, for as long as I had known her, seen visions of other worlds in her dreams; despite bringing back items from them, she was still convinced that she was just visiting some kind of dream world. Parallel universes were my explanation, though. Since the visions, until now, remained part of her dreams, I considered them to be fairly harmless; that's why today had been a shock for both of us._

 _We had decided to visit an old, disused shrine far up in the mountains, hidden in a bamboo forest : according to her, it was the kind of place where spiritual energy was known to gather, so her bet was that we'd be able to find something interesting there for a trip as the Sealing Club. Turns out she was right._

 _The look of wonder in her eyes when we reached the top of the long flight of stairs up to the shrine was unforgettable : all I could see was a decrepit old building, yet the way she stared at it, it was the most amazing thing she had seen in ages. "Renko, what is this place ?", she asked me, her voice rising with excitement; her eyes were darting from spot to spot, yet when I followed her eyes, all I could see were generic bamboo shoots and patches of soil. Whatever she could see, I couldn't._

" _Merry ? What's... um... What's so interesting about this shrine ?" Her smile froze on her face, still present, but the sparkle had left her eyes._

" _Shrine ? Renko, you can hardly call this a shrine, just look at it !" Well, she was right about that : the floorboards had begun to rot, and it was visibly falling to pieces. "Why, I'd call this a veritable mansion ! Who'd have thought they'd be one here, so deep in a bamboo forest like this ? And look at all the rabbits ! Over there, see, they're pounding mochi, just like the rabbit in the moon !" She pointed to a small rock. It wasn't rabbit shaped in the slightest. Concern was creeping into her expression; as she saw that I still wasn't impressed, she finally stopped smiling._

" _Can't you see it, Renko ?"_

 _I wanted to say that I could. I really did. How long had I wanted to visit Maribel's world ? But the truth was that, to me, it was simply a broken down shrine; no rabbits, no mansion._

" _I'm... sorry, Merry. I can't." Seeing how devastated she looked, I quickly added, "but hey, that's nothing to worry about ! I can't see your dreams either, but that doesn't mean I don't believe you ! This is just like when you see places in your dreams, right ?" I smiled nervously, hoping she wouldn't take this badly. It didn't work._

" _But Renko, it's not the same ! I'm... I'm not dreaming. If I start seeing things even though I'm awake now, how will I know... how will I know what's real or not ?"_

 _Seeing that she was on the verge of tears, I stepped forwards, pulling her into an embrace. After she had calmed down, I managed to convince her that it must be something to do with the energy of the shrine, that somehow it was allowing her to have visions even though she wasn't awake, or some other excuse like that : I was lying to her, and didn't really believe a word of what I was saying, but I knew that I couldn't have her think that she was losing her grip on reality. It worked, though, temporarily, at least. To cheer her up, I asked her to give me a tour of the "mansion" : we walked around for over an hour, my hand in hers "so that I won't accidentally walk into a wall or step on a rabbit, you know ?", as she described all the fascinating details that I was deprived of. In that moment, I was jealous of those visions; I wanted to experience what she could see, so that we could share her world together. I didn't want anything to be between us._

 _For now, the guided tour of the invisible world would have to do, though._

 _She had been cheerful throughout her explanations of what she could see; when we noticed the time, though, I suggested that we head home, since there was a long walk down the mountain ahead of us. The further we got from the shrine, the more sullen she seemed to grow; by the time we arrived at the station near the foot of the mountain, she had gone back to how she was before I had convinced her with my shoddy explanation._

" _It doesn't feel real any more. No more than a regular dream. How can even tell any more, Renko ?"_

 _I didn't know what to say; all I wanted to do was comfort her, but I couldn't find the words._

 _The train journey felt like it went on for an eternity._

 _..._

" _I'm not going mad, am I ?"_

 _I had made up my mind. I didn't care if her visions were real or not, or what it might mean that she had seen something like that without even dreaming. What I was sure was that, if she managed to convince herself that it was the beginning of some kind of insanity, and therefore that she started to doubt everything, not being able to tell what is or isn't real, I would eventually lose her to these visions. They would overtake her, and the whole world would seem just as ephemeral as her dreams. I, too, might end up seeming like a simple figment of her imagination, and I wasn't having that._

" _No, you're not. Listen, Merry, we both know you have some kind of power. People don't just bring things back from their dreams. I'm certain you're actually visiting another world, like I've told you many times. Well you see, this is no different. That place must have just been... linked to your world, somehow. Maybe it's on some kind of border. You sometimes talk about being able to see borders between things, right ? I'm sure this is linked somehow." I was doing my best to sound enthusiastic, encouraging her with a smile. Had I accidentally stumbled on the truth behind the matter ? I had no idea. I was of little importance right then. "Why, this is even a breakthrough for the Sealing Club ! Just think, if we can find other places like this, maybe you'll even be able to bring me along with you soon !"_

 _It seemed to work. I was rewarded by her glowing, brilliant smile : the thought of finally being able to bring me along with her was the nail in her worry's coffin._

" _Yes... If we could go together, that would be nice...", she said to herself, staring into the distance. Maybe she was even staring into her world. I ended up daydreaming about exploring the world of her dreams with her, too, as the train clattered through the sunset, bringing us back home._

 _If I had known what this increase in her powers would lead to, maybe I would just have simply told her it was all not real._

 _..._

Memories of that day accompanied me as we walked in silence towards the village : Maribel had said it was a human village, so we didn't have to worry about being captured again; I wasn't convinced, but there was nowhere else left for us to go, anyway. _Back then, I was worried she'd lose sight of the distinction between dreams and reality. I promised to myself that I wouldn't let her lose herself in her dreams. Now the game has changed. Now, it's her dreams that are actively trying to take over her. Was it mind control ? Or was Yukari an exceptionally convincing speaker ? Whichever it was, she is now my enemy, and I have to stop her from taking Maribel from me._ The spring in her step from this morning was nowhere to be seen, and she didn't have the aura of energy around her that I liked so much. It was as if her golden glow had become duller, almost grey; everything about her suggested distress, but whenever I tried to talk to her, she'd just say that she was fine, and that if we hurry, we'd be at the village early enough to be able to find some food. After what we'd been through, I just didn't have the energy to fight her reluctance to share her woes. I didn't stop me from worrying, though. _Once again, I'm in danger of losing her. Her dreams, unknown viruses... Everything seems like it's after her. When I first saw her, I thought she seemed so strong, like she could take on everything, but the more I get to know her, the more fragile I realise she is._

 _Well, that's why I'm here._

As much as I wanted to protect her, against our hunger, I couldn't do much : she insisted that we share the loaf of bread I had been saving for her, saying that she had been fed well enough, but she was clearly weak with hunger : by the way she dragged her feet, often clutching at her stomach when it growled horribly loud, I didn't believe her for a second. I was still holding up to the hunger, being used to lighter meals, but she was used to having quite large foreign dishes, so I could only imagine that this would be harder on her.

 _We don't even have any usable money. I hope someone takes pity on us, otherwise I won't have a choice..._

 _A young thief girl, stealing bread for the person she loves. What a romantic image._ I smiled bitterly at the thought. _I'd better be stealthy. It's not like I'll have the energy to run away if I'm noticed._

 _..._

Time gradually crawled on, slowed by the pain in our stomachs and the worry in our hearts. By mid afternoon, we arrived at the edge of a small hill : as we reached the top, we had a view the whole landscape around us, a flat plain expanding in all directions until it got swallowed up in the forests or mountains; most importantly, we could see our destination. The village was now in sight.

 _And... it's still so hopelessly far away !_

I heard a groan followed by a thud from behind me : Maribel had collapsed on the ground.

"Merry ! Hold on, the end is in sight !"

It was precisely that which had proved too much for her, I assumed. To be honest, it was a crushing blow to me too; from the top of the mountain, the village hadn't seemed too far away from the mansion, but now, walking there on an empty stomach under the hot sun proved to be an incredible challenge, and seeing that, even after all this time, it was still so far away...

 _Now is no time to be giving up, though._ "Merry, grab hold, I'll help you walk there." I extended my arm out for her, hoping she'd grab hold so that I could help her to her feet : it was then I noticed she was actually unconscious. _Damn it, had they fed her at all ?_

There was only one thing for it : lifting her onto my back, I started to stagger forwards. I was already having trouble standing with just my own weight, but with hers, I wasn't going to last long.

 _But I can't stop here ! I can't... The village is in sight..._

Darkness started creeping into my vision, as I stumbled along the road, barely even upright any more.

 _Can't... let her down..._

The darkness covered my vision. I felt like dozens of cold hands were pulling me into it, further down into the darkness, clutching at my arms, my legs, dragging me deeper and deeper, until... _Eyes. Millions of eyes, all around me, floating in the darkness, all staring at me, extending infinitely in this void, staring, staring..._

 _..._

I woke with a start : I was lying in a small, straw bed in what appeared to be an inn; looking around with growing panic, I was only reassured when I saw Maribel to my right, still asleep in a similar bed. My thoughts were too foggy to even begin wondering how we'd gotten here.

"Ah, you're awake. I was getting worried."

I jumped, startled by the voice coming from the doorway to my left : standing there was a tall stranger carrying a large backpack, and wearing a bamboo hat which completely covered her eyes.

"You've both been out cold for a long time. I was worried it might have been too late by the time I found you."

The stranger introduced herself as a medicine woman, who often travelled to the village to sell her wares. Apparently, we had been "lucky" enough to have collapsed right on the crossroad of the path she regularly took. Taking pity on us, she had carried us both to the village, leaving us here to rest after giving us some kind of medicine. _Crossroad ? Were we really on a crossroad ?_ I had more pressing things to worry about, though.

"Medicine ? I don't think we were ill, it's just that-"

"You haven't eaten for day. I can tell. I gave you something that wards off hunger and its effects on someone. It'll last another day or two at most, so do try to find something proper to eat, ok ?"

It was true : I didn't feel hungry at all, and the heaviness in my limbs had vanished along with it. Finding real food would still be a problem, though, what with our lack of money. _Wait, is she expecting me to pay for the medicine, too ?_ Nervously, I explained my situation to her.

"Ah, no money at all ? You must have a relative that will share a meal with you, no ?" I shook my head; she gasped, finally grasping the situation. "Wait, you don't mean, you're not from this village ? You're from... the outside world ?"

 _The outside world... Yes, to them, this world was their reality, and mine was the "outside" world._ Again, I nodded, but the confirmation only seemed to shock her more.

"Humans from the outside, collapsed out of the village limits like that... you weren't even protected ! Why, you're both incredibly lucky to have not been eaten ! If night had fallen and you were still there, you'd never have survived..." Realising that she wasn't helping, she trailed off, apologising. _So once again, I was right to be cautious of everything in this world. Eaten..._ I shuddered. If it wasn't for the kind stranger, I would have let Maribel get eaten. _I just can't seem to do anything to protect her._

"You must both be terribly confused. After all, you were likely spirited away, to end up in Gensokyo like this... Ah, but the more I'd explain, the more you'd be confused." She seemed to ponder something for a while, before her face lit up with an idea. "Ah, I know : ask around for someone named Keine. She's the teacher around here, but she also knows all about the history of this place. I'm sure that if you find her, she'll be able to answer any questions you may have. The school is at the end of the road to the right of this inn, so you should try there first." Seeming satisfied with herself, she nodded, before making her way out of our room. "Oh, and don't worry about having to pay for the inn, it's taken care of already !", she added, halfway down the corridor already.

...

I lay back down in the bed, soaking up all the information she had bombarded me with. _Eaten. Protected. Outside world. Gensokyo._ _Yes, I'll be glad if I can find this Keine person. I need all the knowledge about this place possible if I want to stop it from taking Maribel._

I glanced over at her : she was still lying there, fast asleep, but she didn't seem as sullen as when we had been trying to get to the village : it was a serene, restful sleep.

 _Once again, against the odds, it seems like we've survived an ordeal that we probably shouldn't have. Maybe she has some kind of guardian angel looking out for her ?_

 _Well, that guardian definitely isn't me. I can't do shit_ , I thought bitterly, curling up into a ball under the bedcovers as I felt the sting of tears welling up in my eyes.


	6. Severed

"Renko ?"

I felt a weight come to sit on the bed next to me; I froze under the covers, as if being still would convince her that I wasn't there. _I don't want her to see me like this..._

"Renko, are you all right ? Don't hide, it's me..."

Her voice was like a soft caress, washing over me, slowly dissolving my willpower to stay hidden from her; the unusual hint of sadness in it worried me, making it even harder for me to hide any longer.

"Please, talk to me, Renko."

Slowly, I sat up, and, like an old turtle adventuring its head out of its shell, I emerged from the cocoon of my bedcovers, only to be dazzled by the golden glow of her hair. She smiled, trying to encourage me; as I expected from the tone of her voice, it was that sad smile that she wore when trying to hide her problems. _But is it the shock from having fainted... or did something else happen ?_

"There. Now, I don't know where we are, but somehow, I don't feel hungry any more. What's more, we seem to be safe, so, please tell me, why are you crying ?"

 _The damned innocence with which she asked me that ! Here she is, obviously worried herself, and yet she deflects it by asking me why I'm crying ? Why wouldn't I be ?_

"I... it's because I... You..."

I wanted to tell her so many things : I wanted to tell her how scared I was of losing her, how much I hated the fact that I couldn't protect her, and more than anything, I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, but all those words ended up stuck in my throat, all fighting for escape yet only succeeding in blocking each other's way like dirt down a shower drain; they ended up drowned out by my tears, preventing me from saying anything at all. Seeing my distress, she put her arms around me, pulling me close to her.

"It's ok, Renko. We've been through a lot in these last few days. Don't worry, I understand."

 _You don't understand... You don't understand at all..._

I remained there, wrapped up in the warmth of her arms, still unable to say anything as she ran her hands through my hair, trying to comfort me; if anything, it just made the pain of the situation worse.

 _I wish you really did understand, Merry. Because then, I wouldn't have to tell you myself._

 _..._

Eventually, I gathered up the courage to explain the situation to her : I told her about the medicine seller who had found us, passed out, on the road, how she had told us that we were safe now that we were in the village, that she had given us some kind of medicine to stave off hunger, and that a teacher named Keine should be able to answer any questions we had. I didn't tell her about the void full of millions of eyes that I vaguely remembered being dragged into, nor the fact that we were lucky to not have been eaten : she had enough to worry about already. _She has me dragging her down, after all._ As I talked, she seemed to liven up a little, her fake, sad smile becoming a genuine one.

"Well, cheer up then, Renko ! This is good news, right ? We finally have a lead to someone that we can talk to about this whole mess ! Why don't we go find this teacher, then ? Maybe even look around the village while we're at it !" Of course, I knew that she was acting this way because she knew I was feeling down, but I couldn't help but find her attempts to cheer me up a little forced. _How can you act so cheerful ? You've been through the same events I have..._ If the village truly was safe, though, it would be nice change from the fear and danger we'd faced over the last few days. _Some quality time with her not spent running away or starving... That's might be just what I need, really._ I decided to let her sings of worry slide, blaming it on the fact that anyone would be shaken up after what had happened.

Doing my best to smile, I told her that it sounded like a good plan, and so we set off out of the inn.

...

Stepping out into the village, Maribel and I gazed around in wonder : it felt like we had been transported back in time. All around us were old-fashioned wooden houses, some of which even had straw roofs; the roads were all dirt tracks, without any traffic sings or anything that hinted at the presence of cars, and most noticeably of all was the complete lack of anything electronic in sight. It reminded me of those silly reality shows where people are taken far away from all technology for a week, and have to "survive like in the good old days". I remembered my phone, which I seemed to have lost at some point. _Well, I've managed well so far without._

Maribel's eyes were sparkling as she took in her surroundings. I could already tell that this was the kind of thing she'd be interested in : whenever we went far out into the countryside to visit a shine or an abandoned old house, she would always want to stop by the nearest village, hoping it would be a quaint little hamlet in which we could stroll around in, pretending that we had travelled back to the past, to the early two-thousands, maybe. Those kinds of villages had become rare with our generation's urbanisation, though, and those that did remain old-fashioned had almost all become ghost towns nowadays. _Well, a real ghost town would be right up our alley, wouldn't it ?_ Her eyes set on a large building at the end of the street : according to the medicine woman, this was probably the school. Mustering up another smile, I asked, "Keine first, sightseeing later ?" She nodded.

 _Smiling has never been so tiring before._

It was quite a long way to the school, though, and we couldn't help but get a little distracted by the sights and sounds we passed. As we made our way down the street, me trudging along next to Maribel's much lighter step (although there must have been something imperceptibly different in her movements, because I couldn't help but feel like something was still gnawing at her), I came across a surprising sight down one of the little streets perpendicular to ours : in front of a tofu stand stood a tall woman dressed in white and blue, but what really caught my attention was the nine golden fox tails extending out of her lower back, and the decidedly real-looking fox ears protruding out of her head. I stopped in my tracks, taken aback. _A youkai !_ Yet Maribel, calm as can be, took my hand, squeezing it reassuringly, and, in a soft voice, asked me to keep watching. I did : on closer inspection, the woman ( _Or kitsune ?)_ seemed to actually be having a pleasant conversation with the tofu stand owner, and, a short time later, paid him before leaving with a bag of the goods in her hand. As she left, she glanced my way - right into my eyes - and smiled, an uncanny smile that chilled me to the bone. And just like that, she flew off. A few passers-by stared, but none seemed particularly impressed. _Is this purely routine for them ?_ Maribel looked pleased. "See ? This place isn't all bad", she said, as if just speaking her thoughts out loud. I scoffed at her.

"Yeah, when you're not getting imprisoned or eaten by youkai." A frown passed over her face.

"No, but didn't you see ? She must have been a youkai, but she didn't seem dangerous to the people here, did she..." Then, in a whisper, she continued to herself, "I'm sure it can be a nice place, it's just that we're not at the top of the food chain anymore..."

I pretended to not have heard her; we had arrived in front of the school, anyway.

...

The school itself was quiet; the only sound was of Maribel suggesting that we eat at the tofu stand later. _And what'll we pay with ?_ The further we advanced along the central corridor, the more the lack of children was noticeable. _The weekend, maybe ? I've completely lost track of time._ Now that we were properly inside the building, the two of us treaded lightly along the wooden floors, making as little noise as possible : the sudden calm of the school made us feel out of place, coming from the bustling street; it was like we were in some kind of sacred place, where even treading too loudly would be a sign of disrespect. Despite our efforts, we were still heard.

"Is anybody there ?", a calm yet demanding voice asked from inside a room further down the corridor; soon after, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching us.

"Oh, sorry, I was expecting... So, to whom do I owe the pleasure ?"

A tall woman dressed in blue appeared in front of us; covering her long, white hair was a strikingly odd hat, shaped almost like a building of some sort. _Is this what teachers have to wear here ?_ I wondered, almost pitying her.

"Renko Usami and Maribel Hearn," Maribel said, presenting us to her. "It's a pleasure to meet you... Miss Keine, right ? We heard that you know a lot about the history of this land. If possible, would you be so kind as to allow us to ask you some questions ?" _Despite everything, she hasn't lost her tact in situations like these._

"Oh, why yes, of course ! Do come in," she invited, gesturing to us to follow her into the room from which she had came. It was a tidy little study, with a diversity of books lined up on small, cheap-looking shelves, and a large, well-organised desk in the middle : there were three seats in front of her desk, meaning she was probably used to receiving people in this room.

"As you seem to already know, my name is Keine Kamishirasawa, and I'm the teacher of this school. I must say," she added, "I don't think I've ever seen either of you here before. We don't get new visitors very often."

"Well, you see, we're new here," Maribel answered. "And that's exactly why we came here : we'd like to know more about our new... our place of sojourn."

 _More like prison. I want us to go home as soon we can._

"Ah, I see. Well, your friend - Renko, was it ? - is awfully lucky to have made it to the village in time. You're safe here, but outside the village, human newcomers such as her aren't protected at all."

 _Human newcomers such as me ? Why single me out ? Maribel's just as lost here as I am._

"Ah, yes, lucky," Maribel quickly replied, looking flustered. With a nervous laugh, she added, "Well, we're here now, so that's what counts, right ?"

 _She's nervous. She's hiding something._ I was beginning to feel uneasy.

"Well, if you're new here, I had better start explaining from the top. This village, you see, is known as the Human Village, being the only real place humans live together..." She stared deliberately at when whenever she talked about humans, which only made uneasiness worse.

She then launched into an explanation about how she was the protector of the village, and had some kind of power over history, which meant that she could conceal things or something, I wasn't sure : I was too busy trying to read Maribel's reactions. _Something's wrong. It seemed more like she was being called out on something when Keine addressed me as a human, yet not her. Her nervous reply was definitely telling._ The fact that I felt with growing certainty that Maribel was hiding something from me was really getting to me; something was separating us, driving us apart due to a secret she couldn't, or didn't want to, tell me. The fear of losing her was rapidly returning from earlier. _I'm going to be alone here, she's going to disappear, and I can't help her, I can't protect her, I, I..._

"You hear that, Renko ? Doesn't that sound nice ?" I hadn't been listening at all, but now I noticed that she had turned towards me, staring at me with her deep violet eyes, right into mine. Hidden under the table, she slipped her hand into mine, and whispered "please, don't worry."The soft touch of her hand reassured me, but only superficially : my head was still swarming with questions that I couldn't ask, not only because I wouldn't know where to start, but because she didn't seem to want me to. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down : I was making a big deal about nothing. _Right ?_

"So in this village, the humans are safe from youkai ? And yet some of them, like you, even live here ?" Maribel was summing up what had been said for my sake.

"That's right. Despite being the only human village in Gensokyo, it isn't rare to see youkai here. You don't need to worry about them, though : they aren't allowed to harm anyone here. I personally see to it that that rule is respected."

The two of them carried on discussing Gensokyo, which I remembered being the name of this land. Maribel asked questions, and Keine answered enthusiastically, seeming happy to have someone show interest in the history she knew so much about. I tried to pay attention, I really did, but I was worried, and couldn't help but wonder what it was that Maribel was hiding from me. It wasn't until I heard them laugh about something that I tuned back into the conversation. Worried that they were getting distracted ( _and with Maribel's charm, it was easy to end up talking about anything)_ , I whispered to Maribel, "Shouldn't you ask her how to get out of here ?"

I felt her grip around my hand tense up, as her smile instantly faded. _Oh no, have I touched upon something she wants to avoid ?_

"Ah, yes, of course..." Addressing Keine, she asked, half-heartedly, "So, I don't suppose there's any way that she – um, that we – could go back home ?"

 _This is it. This is what we came for._ But that slip of the tongue hadn't gone unnoticed. _She really is trying to abandon me, isn't she ?_ My heart had started racing, making me feel dizzy, but the other two continued without noticing. I let go of her hand : it had started to feel cold and unfamiliar, like a complete stranger's.

"Well, yes, there is a way, although you'll need some help in doing it. You'd have to cross the Hakurei Barrier, which surrounds Gensokyo. Now, how to do that is much beyond my knowledge, but the Hakurei Shrine Maiden can usually do it for you. She lives quite far outside the village, though; it's far too late for you to go there today. Do wait until tomorrow, ok ?"

Maribel nodded gloomily, before asking, in anticipation of my thoughts : "We will. Where would she - we - have to go to arrive at the shrine ?"

"Go East from the village. There's a small path that leads to it. It's a bit overgrown, though, so do be careful." She paused for a while, before adding as an afterthought, "Still, it's unusual for a youkai like you to be asking about crossing the barrier. Don't you know about all this already ?"

 _A youkai like you._

That was what pushed me over the edge. I couldn't take it any more, so I stood up, vision blurry and feeling sick, blurting out some excuse as I fled from the room.

 _A youkai like you. A human such as myself. This is what she's been hiding from me, isn't it ?_ I knew it didn't make sense, but I couldn't think; I just wanted to be away from there, out of that room in which Maribel felt so different, I wanted to be outside, getting some fresh air, to get away...

I burst out of the building; the harsh light of the afternoon sun washed over me, blinding me temporarily, and the noise of the street, compared to the calm of the schoolhouse, made my head spin even more. _No, I need to leave, I..._

I only managed a few confused steps before falling flat on my face. I didn't even try getting up : I just lay there, feeling drained of everything but confusion and dread.

...

Before long, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't move. I knew she'd catch up, sooner or later.

"Renko..." she started tentatively. I didn't react. _What is there to say ? I thought we were together in this, yet she's obviously hiding so much from me. Is it even her anymore ?_

"Renko, I'm sorry. It's not that I wanted to hide anything from you, it's just that... well, some things are better left unsaid, right ?" I sat up slowly to face her; my eyes had become red and puffy. She was smiling timidly at me. I didn't feel any of the usual warmth, instead feeling almost disgusted. _Who are you ?_

"Tell me," I ordered. "Tell me everything you know, once and for all. Don't hide anything from me !" I never raised my voice against Maribel, but I was beyond my usual self-restraint. After everything we had been through these last few days, I just couldn't handle the thought that Maribel and I weren't even working together in this, that something had come between us. I couldn't handle being alone in this new world.

Maribel's smile turned sad as she lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry... Really, I've barely had enough time to think about this myself, which is why I haven't told you yet..." The grip on my shoulder tightened, and she continued, her voice heavy with resignation. "It happened after I fainted. I felt like I was falling - no, like I was being dragged into - some kind of void. When I opened my eyes, the void opened theirs. Millions of eyes, all focused right on me. I was scared." I nodded. _I hadn't imagined it, then._

"I was there too, I saw that void. I think, somehow, it moved us onto the medicine seller's path... It all happened so fast that I couldn't even see if you were there or not. Could you ?"

"Well," she resumed, "after a while, I realised that I wasn't alone. But, the other person... it wasn't you." She didn't need to say anything more : my heart sank as I realised who she meant.

That feeling was quickly replaced by anger. Yukari had shown herself once more, yet had again done so in a way that kept me from interfering. I was still as powerless as ever. _I still can't protect her._

"What did she say." I said bitterly, more as an order than a question.

"Well, she... she told me what's going to happen next. I'm sorry Renko, I really am !", she blurted out, bursting into hopeless tears as she flung herself against me. I sat there, surprised : I had expected bad news, but not such a sudden reaction. _What had that bitch been telling her ?_

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I just couldn't tell you. You see, Yukari...

I am Yukari."

My heart sank further down into my stomach; I felt like everything around us had gone silent, the only sound left being her ragged sobbing as she clung to me. Something had definitely just broken, severing the tie that I felt had linked us so strongly all these years. _This is even worse than what I had imagined._ My hands were limp at her sides; her felt alien and stiff around me.

"Please, don't hate me ! Let me explain," she pleaded, as if she could sense what I was feeling. "I'm not Yukari yet, but I will be. She... she told me everything. She explained to me that she had created this world : all these youkai, that vampire ? If they weren't here, they'd be back in our world. Don't you see ? This place is vital for the.. the balance of our worlds." She tripped over her words as she spoke, despite trying her best to sound convincing. These clearly weren't her own thoughts. _Lies that Yukari has been poisoning her mind with, that's what they are. Besides..._

"What's the problem, then ? Since we're here, this world already exists, right ? So what does she need you for ?"

"She explained that, too. She told me... that she was approaching the end. Of her life, that is. She's worried, Renko : if she dies, the balance of the worlds will break, or something... so she needs to restart. She wants to do things differently this time. I'm not sure exactly what she'll change, but she'll be telling me that soon. And it'll be my turn. It's up to me to build a Gensokyo that'll last. Please, Renko, understand that I... I have no choice."

 _Lies. No matter how I looked at it, Yukari was lying. And yet, despite only having her word, without any trace of proof, Maribel believed her every word. Why ?_

"Listen, Merry," I started, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I don't know why you trust her so easily, , but I don't. She's lying. She's manipulating you, I'm sure of it. You don't need to listen to her. We just need to find the shrine, and-"

"You don't understand !" she interrupted. "I wouldn't - she wouldn't - lie. She hasn't just told me, she's shown me things, too. There's no use fighting it, so please... please, accept what cannot be avoided."

 _Accept it ? Accept that the person I've loved all these years is just going to disappear all of a sudden to become some monster that spirits people away ? Merry, do you have any idea what you're asking of me ?_

"No. No way. We're going back to our world. Together. I refuse to let you-"

"There's no point ! Don't you get it, Renko ? We can't go back !"

"Why ?" By this point, we were both yelling, but her reply plunged us into complete silence.

"Because here... Renko, we haven't only been moved through space. We've been transported through time, too. Renko, back in our home, back in our time...

We're both already dead."


	7. Alone

"We're both already dead."

Her words had a chilling effect on me : I couldn't think of anything to say, and instead, just stood there, staring at Maribel with a blank expression.

"I'm sorry, Renko ! There's nothing we can do about this, so please... just try to forget me !" She repeated a final time, before turning heel and running off down the street. It didn't take her long to be swallowed up by the crowd, disappearing from sight.

...

 _Gone. She's gone._

 _..._

I was still rooted to the spot, not only because of the shock of what she had just revealed, but also because, _what else could I do ?_ I stood there, staring at the space in which I last saw her before she disappeared, as a warm afternoon breeze blew gently down the street. I barely noticed it. I wasn't paying attention to anything that was going on around me. As she left, it felt like she had torn away my heart, my brain, everything, and all that was left was an empty shell in the shape of Renko Usami.

 _This is it, isn't it ? She's gone, and by the time I see her again, she'll be a youkai. This is the last I'll ever see of Maribel Hearn._ Panic was slowly filling me up, replacing the emptiness with something much worse. That idea had fully taken hold of me now : I would never see her again. _I'm alone here. Alone in this horrible world._

 _..._

I would probably have stayed in front of the school like a statue for the rest of the day, if it wasn't for the fact that Keine eventually came out of the front door. Expressing surprise that I was still here, she asked me where Maribel had gone. Feeling tears welling up just from thinking about it, I quickly blurted out an excuse, before briskly walking off, down the streets into the village, without any destination in mind. I just wanted to lose myself, to get swallowed up in the crowd, to not have to think about anything anymore; to cease.

Solitude never quite works out like that, though. On the contrary, as I walked, my mind seemed to recover from the shock, and thus began to wander, to think. About her. About everything we'd been through together. I remembered when we first met, when I was an awkward first-year student; the appearance of this radiant, golden haired girl left me in awe, and it took me an awkward amount of time to realise that, yes, it was me that she was talking to. I don't remember what made her come up to me out of all people, nor what we talked about, considering how mesmerised I was by her, but I'll never forget that initial conversation with her. We quickly became friends after that, which was a first for me, but it was when I told her about the Sealing Club that we really got close. The evenings spend together on the train, travelling to remote places throughout Japan to investigate the rumours we'd heard, gave us time to talk, to talk about anything, I didn't care, but we opened our hearts to each other, we got to know each other so well; she told me about all the things she saw in her dreams, things she had never dared mention to anyone else, and I talked to her about the theories I came up with, the way I could tell where we were from the night sky... We had become two sides of the same coin.

...

There was just one place in my heart that I couldn't show her. I didn't want to scare her away.

...

My feelings for her had only grown over time, of that I was certain. But I kept it to myself. She had always been so confident, hadn't she ? If she felt the same way about me, she would have said so. But she didn't. To her, I was just a friend. Well, more than a simple friend, considering how close we were, but still, I knew she didn't feel the same way about me. Despite knowing this, I always had a faint hope that, deep down, she might want to be more than friends, but didn't fully realise it yet, that maybe, if only I had confessed my love for her, she'd realise how she felt...

 _Now that she's gone, I'll never have even been able to try. That's what I get for putting it off for so long._

I didn't cry. I had been doing that far too much these last few days. Now that she'd gone, I felt like I had dried up inside, like I could barely feel anything anymore. It was with surprise that I finally realised that evening had started to fall, that I had wandered around, lost both in thought and in the village, most of the afternoon. I hadn't even begun to think about what I'd do for eating or sleeping that night; I didn't care. As far as I was concerned, I would just keep wandering in these streets until I couldn't any longer; maybe someone would rescue me again, maybe they wouldn't.

...

" _Just try to forget me". Merry, even if I wanted to, I could never do that._ I knew it wouldn't happen, but I hoped, I hoped so hard, that from behind me, I'd hear a familiar voice calling my name, and -

"Renko ?"

My heart leap. _Was it ?_ But no, I knew Maribel's voice too well, and I could tell it wasn't her. _Then who would know me...?_

"Koujin ? Is that you ?" Turning around, I had seen the source of the voice : with her unmistakable green hair, I recognised who it was. _I'd completely forgotten about her..._

"So you're still alive. That's nice !" She seemed to be more cheerful than the last time we had met, but still lacked any kind of tact. _Maybe she's trying to make conversation ?_ On one hand, I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone, yet, if it could take my mind of Maribel for a while...

"Where have you been ? You disappeared before I woke up, and your letter was so vague..."

She smiled proudly. _Oh dear, she's been looking for someone to talk to for a while now, hasn't she ?_ "Well, now that I've been where I needed to go, I'd be happy to tell you about it. It all started with my great great great aunt..."

 _Yup, long story incoming._ I contained my sigh. After all, a story was probably just what I needed right now. _I never thought she'd be the talkative type, though... maybe, back then, she was just terrified. Like everyone else._

"...Give or take a few "greats". It was a long time ago. Anyway, this aunt of mine was a shrine maiden. Quite a popular one at one point, too : it was said she was able to produce miracles. One day, though, her whole shrine disappeared. Gone without a trace. Nobody knew what had happened, and she was never seen again. When I heard this story, I was intrigued. In an effort to find out what had happened, I found out who the god of her shrine was. Turns out there were two of them. So, I started praying to them; nothing happened at first, but as time passed, I started getting visions of a place I had never seen : a huge lake at the top of the mountain... and a shrine. I knew this must have been my ancestor's shrine." As she spoke, I nodded, so that she didn't think I wasn't paying attention. Getting visions of Gensokyo ? That sounds a bit like... _Back to listening, then._

"I can't explain how, but I eventually started receiving knowledge about this place. I would just know something, without ever being told it. That's how I learnt that this place is called Gensokyo, and that I would never be able to find it on any map. I was happy to leave it at that : I was just curious to know what had happened to my ancestor, I didn't feel the need to set out on a quest to find her. That's when the incident on the bus happened." I nodded again. It was getting to the interesting part now.

"You know what happened until we parted ways. What I hadn't told you, though, I that from the lookout point I told you about, instead of looking down, I looked up; without a doubt, it was the mountain I had seen. With nowhere else in particular to go, I thought that I should try climbing it, to see what was left of the shrine. It was a difficult climb, but I made it by the following evening. Once I got there, I was greeted by a shrine maiden; you can imagine my surprise when she introduced herself as Sanae Kochiya : the aunt who had disappeared."

An idea flashed through my mind when I heard that. _If such a distant ancestor of hers is still alive, either she's a youkai, or otherwise, when Merry talked about travelling through time, it wasn't..._ Koujin nodded as if she had read my thoughts.

"That's right. After talking for a while, she mentioned how long she had been here. Calculating it from when she had disappeared, that places us... roughly in 2010."

It was like a missing puzzle piece had finally been returned to me : questions that had been at the back of my mind could now be answered. _So this must be why the residents of the mansion didn't recognise her ! Chronologically, this is the first time they've seen her, and so, when she saw them in her dream, they must have been pretending to have met for the first time... Not that that's of any importance any more. However, this also means that if we do return to our world, it'll be before we were even born_ , _and we'd die before ending up back in our time, effectively making us dead to our world. Still, if there was a way to travel back to roughly our period, doesn't that mean there's still hope ?_ After a small pause, Koujin resumed.

"This was a bit of a problem; you see, I was told of a barrier that separates this world from ours. Crossing it isn't impossible, and that's even the reason why I'm here in this town. The problem is, if I do cross it the usual way, I won't be back in the same time as the one I was taken from. So, starting from tomorrow, I'll be investigating in order to find out who the blonde-haired woman we saw was. I'm sure she's behind our kidnapping, so if anyone can send us back properly, it's her." I laughed nervously. _There's no way I can tell her that my best friend is the one responsible for all this._ I didn't even want to believe it myself.

"So where are you staying tonight ? I've found a good inn on the other side of town, that isn't even too expensive." I turned away, too ashamed to admit that I still hadn't given that any thought.

"Don't tell me you intend to sleep outside ?" She asked, taken aback. "Tell me you've at least found something to eat ?"

"W-Well, I was given some kind of medicine that stops me from feeling hunger for a few days," I weakly admitted. She scoffed.

"Anti-hunger medicine ? That sounds like some kind of stupid plot device, if you ask me." With a sigh, she reached into a pocket, pulling out some shiny coins. "Here. It's not much, but it'll probably do for tonight. I don't have much myself, so I can't spare much for now." After politely trying to refuse, ended up accepting, thanking her for her generosity. She then said that she ought to leave now if she wanted a good meal, but as she turned away from me, a question surfaced in my mind.

"Um, I've been wondering," I started tentatively, "If it took you almost a day to climb the mountain, and you stayed there for a while talking to Sanae, how did you get back down to the village so fast ?"

She smiled mischievously. "Let's say that Sanae... taught me some things. Most notably, the preferred mode of transport used here." I stared blankly at her. She looked a bit disappointed, before resuming. "Maybe it's just a family thing, but she taught me how strong faith can be in this world. Or, to be more precise, this entire world is based on the balance between faith and the lack of it. When you're here, faith can shape this world. Faith can give you wings. So please remember, Renko : don't lose faith. As long as you don't, there's still hope." She was grinning as if she had just said the most meaningful speech imaginable. I smiled and nodded, pretending to grasp the deep meaning she seemed to put behind her words.

"Well, I need to be off now. May we meet again, Renko !" And with that, she left down the now-dark streets. I watched her leave, mulling over everything she had said.

 _Wait. Faith gives you wings ? She didn't mean..._ I looked up into the sky, but it had grown too dark to make out anything. _Surely not..._ It was then that I remembered the coins I was holding. _Well, the medicine is still in effect, and it's getting cold, so finding the inn would be my best bet..._ Looking around, I realised that I had succeeded in what I had set out to do : completely losing myself.

...

I set out to wander the streets once more, half-hoping to come across an inn. Part of me wished I wouldn't : a feeling of guilt was pulling me back. _How can I stay the night in comfort whilst leaving Merry outside in the cold ?_ I knew I would never find her now that it was dark, though, so I carried on roaming the streets with no clear plan in mind. It was probably the faint light of dusk playing tricks on me, but out of the corner of my eye, I kept noticing something that seemed to be following me, ducking behind buildings whenever I looked. _Nobody would be following me, though. Unless it was..._ I chased that thought from my head. _She wouldn't. She's gone._

Eventually, I noticed the school in the distance, from the back. From there, I knew I could find my way back to the inn. I felt more disappointed than anything. _No more excuses..._ It was then that I heard a loud crash from right behind me : lying face down on the floor was a young girl in a green skirt, carrying two swords at her side, which I guessed were the source of the noise. _So I was being followed !_ I took a step back, wary of the swords, but the girl quickly picked herself up, blushing profusely.

"Are... are you, um, R-Renko ?" She stammered. I nodded, surprised that this stranger knew my name. _This is the second time this evening that I hear my name from an unexpected source..._ She straightened herself out, brushing down her top, before clearing her throat and talking.

"In that case, I have a delivery for you."

"Um, who are you ?" My question caught her off guard, but I couldn't help but wonder who this strange katana wielding girl was.

"I'm, ah, I'm just... a gardener. My name is not important. But what is important is this letter !" She practically shoved a small, old-looking envelope into my hands as she said that. Seeing that I obviously had a ton of questions to ask her, she quickly stated whilst backing off, "make sure you read it straight away ! It's important, you know !", before turning round and running away. _What an odd girl. Does she expect me to believe those swords are for cutting hedges ?_

I couldn't pretend that I wasn't interested in knowing the contents of the letter, though. Moving closer to a shop in order to shed some light on it (in both senses), I could now make out the details : it was definitely old, probably moreso than I imagined. It was sealed with wax, and the seal seemed still intact. _Not for long !_ I took pleasure in breaking open the old seal; it was one of those things that seemed like it would be fun to do, but that I had never had an opportunity to try. When the envelope was open, the smell of old paper hit my nose; it was a nice scent, reminding me of some old libraries that I had visited with...

The letter itself was written in ink on a yellowed, neatly-folded page. The handwriting was impeccable, although used some dated kanji readings that I had some trouble with. _How can something so old be for me ? This must predate my birth by decades, maybe even centuries._ But sure enough, when I started reading it, there was no doubt that it was addressed to me.

...

"To Renko, whenever you may read this :

If you have been handed this letter, then a friend of mine is on the verge of making a mistake that they will dearly regret. This friend of mine also happens to be your friend, under a different name. In a different life, to be more precise.

At the time I'm writing this, I have no idea how much you know about your friend. But for you to have been given this letter, the situation must be dire, so I can only hope that you've managed to inform yourself well enough.

I know Yukari well, and you know Maribel well. If this letter has arrived to you on time, then you can still appeal to Maribel herself; the situation must still be in your hands.

You must convince Maribel that Yukari is lying. Whatever story she's cooked up for herself, whatever she may have told or shown your friend, it isn't true.

Maribel doesn't have to disappear.

It will be difficult. Yukari is skilled in the arts of deceit, and most certainly isn't above lying even to herself. Well, if she was honest with herself, I wouldn't have to write this letter in the first place, but like I said : I know her well.

It's up to you. Prevent Maribel from listening to Yukari. Convince her to stay. Remind her of your friendship. Do everything you can.

If you have, and she still doesn't come to reason, there's but one solution left : you must confront Yukari yourself. I've already tried, believe me, but I don't quite have the necessary impact which you may possess. You might be able to make her remember.

Confront her at the shrine. That's where you're most likely to meet her. But be warned, because if you're already at that stage, you will not have much longer before you friend is gone for good.

Hurry now. Prevent her from making this mistake that everyone will regret.

-A concerned friend"

The more I read the letter, the more questions I had. It felt like a mess of confused ideas written in no particular order; I had to re-read it to make sure I had understood everything. There was one sentence that stood out from the rest both times my eyes passed over it, one sentence giving me the hope that had fled along with my friend : _Maribel doesn't have to disappear._

I had no idea who this "concerned friend" was, nor how they knew about Maribel, Yukari and I. I knew that, in summary, they were just telling me to talk to Maribel again; I didn't care. They had given me the hope I needed. The emptiness I had felt all afternoon had gone, filled up with this new feeling of determination : there was still a chance. However slim it might be, however desperate it may seem to trust such an odd letter, I didn't care. Right now, I had a goal. I had to save my friend.

 _My friend who I haven't seen all day. My friend who vanished somewhere in this unfamiliar village, and could be anywhere by now._ My newfound resolve faltered : I had wandered around until dusk and yet hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of her; the streets were almost empty now, which would help, but still, how was I supposed to find her ? As I paced back and forth, deciding what the best course of action was, my stomach growled. Then an idea hit me.

 _She wanted us to visit the tofu stand later on. Maybe, with a bit of luck..._

 _..._

I knew roughly where it was thanks to the school; I ran down the streets at full speed, arriving at the corner where we had seen the kitsune woman, turned the corner, and...

I could have burst into tears of joy just from the sight of her. There sat Maribel, on the edge of the street next to the tofu stand. She looked so small and fragile, sitting there in her purple dress, her head resting in her hands; it looked like she'd been waiting there for a while. I wanted to run up to her and kiss her right then, but noticing my presence, she looked up at me, and the sad look in her eyes knocked the joy right out of me. Seeing that it was me, a mix of expressions crossed her face : she somehow looked happy, yet at the same time, scared enough to run off. "Renko...?" she whispered. I walked up to her, but she stood up. "Listen, Renko, we shouldn't... it's only more painful for both of us if you don't let me-" I hushed her.

"Merry, listen to me. I was right. Yukari is manipulating you. Whatever she told you is wrong. You don't have to listen to her. You don't have to disappear, Merry !"

She averted her eyes, unable to withstand the intensity with which I gazed at her.

"Renko, please... I don't want it to be true either. I just want to go home with you. But you can't understand. You haven't talked to her. She hasn't told you the things she's told me. So how can you say that it's all a lie ? How could you even pretend to know ?" She sounded almost angry; I hoped it was because she wished I was right. I wasn't sure how to reply; I didn't want to reveal the letter yet, but at the same time, she was right : I had nothing even resembling proof that Yukari was lying. I still had to try.

"Yukari is powerful enough to carry an entire bus full of people through time and space. No matter what she may have told you, or even shown you; she must have the power to conjure up any illusion she wants to, no ?" Seeing that I wasn't getting through the wall she had formed between us, I had no choice.

"Wait." I pulled out the letter; she inspected it, curious. "You may not believe my theories, but you have to see this." I wasn't sure at first if I should sum up the letter or just let her read it, but seeing how reticent she was to trust my words, the letter itself would have more impact. I handed it to her; she started reading immediately. Once she had finished, she looked at me, wide-eyed with confusion. "I... I don't understand..."

"Neither do I. But just look at the letter. There's no way this is fake. That is definitely something ancient you're holding in your hands. And it was written by someone who knows Yukari. You might not believe me, Merry, but this ? You'd be throwing yourself right into her trap if you ignored this. Please, Merry, don't fall for her lies !"

Maribel was clearly shaken by this new piece of evidence. Gone was her guilty, avoidant look from earlier : now she was staring at me, as if pleading me to carry on, to convince her once and for all that she could stay, that somehow there would be a way out of this, together, and-

"This means nothing. An old enemy of hers could have written this. This is not proof of anything."

 _Oh no._

The deeper, menacing voice that I had first heard at the mansion was back. I had blinked, and gone was the uncertainty and the fragility in her eyes, replaced by a steely, cold glare. _With that unmistakable purple glow._ I knew what was happening now : Yukari felt threatened, and so she was taking control.

"There is simply no way someone like you could understand. Too much is at stake here. I can't let my doubts get in the way of Yukari's plan. It's much too important. After all, if there isn't Gensokyo, the balance-"

"Shut it." I wasn't going to let her pretend to be Maribel any longer. "I know it's you speaking, Yukari. And you know I'm right, don't you ? You're getting worried, so you're trying to cut me off from her, right ? Well since you're here, this is a chance for us to finally speak straight to you." I was scared, but I tried not to show it : this is what I had been waiting for, a chance to finally stand up to her, a chance to fight for Maribel; I wasn't going to let the increasing feeling of dread I felt creeping over me get the best of my resolve.

Yukari –for this was definitely no longer Maribel- replied with a laugh. It wasn't Maribel's, full of warmth, but a cruel, chilling laugh.

"But Yukari has nothing to say to you ! If you insist, you'll have to come to the shrine yourself..." As she said that, the air behind her seemed to tear open : first as a small crack, almost imperceptible, then, once it had become taller than both of us, two red ribbons wrapped themselves around the extremities; the crack then tore itself open, exposing a gaping abyss of eyes and black, dead-looking arms. "You'd better be quick, though !" she said, with a malicious smile, as the hands took hold of her, pulling her into the void.

 _I'm not letting you take her away again, Yukari !_

The gap had almost fully pulled her in, and was starting to close; abandoning all self-preservation, I leapt in after her.

...

 _Darkness. The eyes were there, yet somehow, there was no light._

I felt a hand touch mine as I floated in the dark.

"Merry ?"

"Renko ? Please, help me Renko, that wasn't me, that wasn't-"

...

The darkness opened back up, dropping us both on the ground in front of a shrine. I scrambled to my feet, wasting no time running up to the body of my friend lying on the floor a few metres away from me.

"Merry ? Merry, look at me ! Are you ok ? Is it you ?" She looked up into my eyes : it was her again. _She's back._ I put my arms around her, sobbing.

"Merry... Merry..."

"You are a stubborn one, aren't you ?" The cold voice rang out again, but this time, it wasn't coming from between my arms. I turned round.

...

We were on top of a hill : a shrine gate was perched near the edge of an absurdly tall flight of stairs; above the gate, the full moon shone bright, appearing massive in the cold night sky. A black line then drew itself in the sky, splitting into another dark void, standing out in contrast to the silver moonlight.

The void wasn't empty this time. Out of it stepped a tall woman with long blonde hair, holding an ornate parasol and dressed in a familiar shade of purple. Even from here, her eyes carried such an imposing feeling of menace that I felt myself shrinking back under her gaze. Closing the gap behind her, she stayed suspended in the air above us, powerful, terrifying, yet entrancing. Pointing the parasol at us, she finally spoke as herself.

...

"Have you been having fun ? I'm afraid all your little attempts end now. Say your goodbyes; this is the last you'll be seeing of her."


	8. Defeated

Yukari was floating in the night sky above us, pointing her parasol at us like a weapon. After glaring at me, she turned her attention to Maribel, and made a gesture with her free hand; a gap started to appear between my friend and myself.

"Wait !", I yelled, desperate. _This is my only chance. I've let her down so many times, but I can't afford to this time._ I didn't have any youkai powers or special visions, and here, I even my little trick of being able to tell where I am from the sky didn't work here. Talking was my only weapon. _And I'm not even good at doing that._

Yukari frowned, annoyed at my interruption. Nevertheless, the gap seemed to stop opening. "Have you not already said everything you have to say, human ?" I was shaking; I could feel that somehow, the being above me had power beyond her comprehension, and defying her took more willpower than I thought I had. _But I must._

"Please, tell me," I pleaded, despite trying to make it sound like an order. "Tell me why Maribel needs to go. You're here, you're alive, and Gensokyo is sealed away, so why do you need to take her from me ?" I saw her glare soften for an instant as I finished my sentence; the intensity of her glare quickly redoubled, though, as I seemed to have angered her.

"What is it to you ? Whatever the reason, she has to go. My presence before you is proof that she will change. You cannot change that."

 _What is it to you ?_ Those words stung horribly. _She's everything to me._ The fact that she was supposedly Maribel, or was Maribel, only made the pain worse. _Has she really forgotten me ?_

"Maribel is my... my... friend," I managed to say. _That isn't what I wanted to say, though._ "She means a lot to me. More... more than you can imagine !", I finished on a determined tone. It didn't impress her.

"That may be so. But your friendship is a human one : short-lived and ephemeral. Do you know how long I've watched over this land ?", she asked with a mysterious smile that made me shudder; I could feel that it had been longer than I could imagine. "The truth is," she perused, "in the long run, you won't matter. You won't have done anything that had any notable effect on her life, and so you'll die alone and forgotten. So it doesn't really matter what you think, does it ?"

Her words had a crushing effect on me; despite looking a lot more mature, despite her deeper, more menacing voice, there was definitely something of Maribel underneath all that, and hearing her tell me this was devastating. I realised what I found so terrifying in her : it was like I was looking at Maribel, except that she was devoid of the warmth and compassion I was used to : I was being glared at like a total stranger, like an annoyance, at that. _This is what will happen if I lose her._ It was then that Maribel, who had been lying face down on the floor ever since we had travelled here, finally stirred. I knelt down next to her, asking if she was ok. She nodded absent-mindedly, before looking up at Yukari. "Show her..." she said faintly. "Show her what you've shown me, and maybe she can understand."

Yukari seemed to ponder over her request for a second, before nodding slowly. "I suppose I can do that. If it will finally allow us to move on. You, human," she said, pointing the parasol back at me. "Pay close attention, for I will tell you why this must be done." She made a motion with her arm, and a gap tore open in the sky next to her; instead of the usual void, what I saw was... Maribel.

...

"Tell me, how do you think a youkai is born ?"

...

The gap widened until it seemed to fill the sky; I seemed to lose myself in it, because I no longer noticed my surroundings or even my own body : all I could see was what she was showing me, like I was completely submersed into the vision. _Are these... her memories ?_

The Maribel I was being shown was alone, sitting on her bed, her hands covering her face; now that I could see more clearly, I could tell she was crying.

"You know your friend well enough, I assume, to know that she isn't your average human." The room around Maribel slowly started shifting : the walls fell away, revealing a forest, the roof tearing apart into a night sky. "She had a gift. She could manipulate boundaries. To her, though, this gift was more like a nightmare. She didn't know how to use it at all." Out of the forest, a shadowy creature lurched out towards Maribel. She screamed, and tried to run, but quickly slammed into something : her room reappeared around her, including the wall she had crashed into. She remained on the floor where she had landed, covering her face again, sobbing uncontrollably as the vision faded to dark. The real Maribel, watching next to me, seemed mortified.

...

"Let's rewind a bit, though. Her visions started off as simple dreams. She thought nothing of it at first; it started getting strange when she was able to bring back various items from her dreams, though." The scene changed, revealing Maribel talking excitedly to... me. Yukari smiled. "Luckily, she had a friend. She could talk to her about her dreams, no matter how strange they may have sounded. She was content." The vision brutally changed again : the walls became a neutral white, and Maribel was now lying in a bed. It was a hospital.

"Things happened. Things changed. Things went wrong. I imagine you can guess where this is ?" I nodded. With how rare illnesses were nowadays, this could only be Maribel's quarantine after the chimera attack. _She's only recently gotten out. She had barely just been allowed to return to university with me, before... all this happened._

"Maybe it was by pure coincidence, or maybe it was linked; what's for certain is that, following the events of her confinement, her visions became stronger." She smiled at me; I couldn't tell if it was mischievous or sad. "Does this come as a surprise to you ? I would expect so. She never told you."

I looked over at Maribel, the real one. She looked away guiltily. "Is this true, Merry ?"

"I... it's such a recent development, I didn't want to worry you for nothing... I'd have told you about it soon if it had carried on, though !" At that, Yukari laughed.

"You say that now, so convinced that you're telling the truth. But you never did. It's this lack of trust between you two that makes you worthless in the end, human : you could never help her. Not then, not now." Maribel lowered her head, looking defeated. I wanted to protest, but at the back of my mind, a nagging voice was saying _it's true. You haven't managed to help her a single time._ Yukari continued, changing her vision back to the very first scene of Maribel in her room, crying.

...

"She kept that development to herself, unable to admit that she had lost the ability to tell the difference between dreams and reality. It got the best of her : she soon quit university, cutting contact with everyone she knew. She retreated into her room, knowing it was the only place she couldn't bring herself to too much harm. After all, what if she saw a busy road as a dirt path ? A river as a simple grassy lane ? She knew she was losing herself in her visions. Confinement was her only choice."

Time seemed to speed up during the vision : days and nights passed as Maribel sat on her bed, occasionally standing up and walking around blindly, other times acting terrified, and, most of all, crying. It pained me to see her like this. _How could I have let this happen ? I would never just leave her to suffer alone like this, would I...?_ Maribel was right : when presented with these visions, Yukari's words that I would have refused to believe were suddenly a lot more credible.

"She had stopped eating. Stopped drinking. She couldn't tell if she even slept any more. She was completely alone, repeating her dreams of Gensokyo over and over again, trapped between the boundary of dreams and déjà-vu. After weeks of this, could you even say that she was alive anymore ?" She paused, dropping her smile.

...

"I repeat my earlier question : do you know how youkai are born ?"

...

The scene violently changed again : we were now in a forest clearing, near a large tree. _Wait, I recognise this tree... it's where we spent the first night !_

Out of the hole in the tree crawled Maribel... yet it was no longer her. Her eyes were glowing purple, her hair had grown, and overall, she had gained an air of maturity about her. An air of maturity muddied by the total confusion in her eyes.

"The truth is, there are many ways for it to happen. Items can gain sentience, animals can gain unprecedented power... and I lost myself in my own power."

Maribel, who I suppose was now Yukari, was looking around herself frantically, touching the tree, herself, the ground, as if to check if it was real. The real Maribel was still standing next to me, wordlessly, just staring blankly and what was apparently her future. _This can't be what lies in store for her... she deserves so much better !_ Now, more than ever, I wanted to protect her, to make her happy, but there was something about the situation, and Yukari's presence, that had me mute and rooted to the spot.

"One day, it just happened. I lost my humanity. The borders overtook me; I had become my power. I was a youkai." There was no denying the sadness in Yukari's eyes as she talked about this. "It was a... difficult period. I was alone in an unknown place, with powers I didn't understand. My past seemed like a dream, as if I had only just woken up for the very first time. It took me a long time to become what I am now."

The vision in front of us had become similar to a montage, showing snippets of her new life; the surprise on her face as she opened her first border, the curiosity with which she experimented using her new powers. She had quickly acquired the dress she was currently wearing.

"My past life vanishing from my mind, I adopted a new name, the one you now know me under. I had grown stronger, fully understanding my powers. The help of a friend I had met along the way was a boon, I'll admit." A mean smiled crossed her lips. "No, nothing to do with you. Anyway, I had come to accept my new life. Alone the way, I had formed a border around my new home, isolating it into the present Gensokyo. I had become the closest thing this place has to a leader, despite constantly remaining in the shadows. In short, I had gotten the most out of my situation, and had come to accept it. Accepting what is inevitable is a valuable skill, I would say," she said, flashing another of her cruel smiles. I took this as a challenge, but still I remained silent. _She has to have been going somewhere with this. I still don't know what we have to do with all this..._ As if she had read my mind, Yukari continued.

...

"Now, despite being satisfied with my current situation, there was... something I regretted." She looked off into the distance, pensive... before snapping out of it, her steely glare from earlier returning. "I had wasted too much time wading through uncertainty and fear when I first became a youkai. I realised that I could have put it to better use, created the boundary a lot sooner. And then I realised, what's stopping me ?" She went back to brandishing her parasol at us. "That's where you come in. Since boundary manipulation is my speciality, why not twist the boundary between past and present ? I had come up with a plan." In the middle of a forest clearing, she was now showing us the appearance of a very familiar bus. I guessed where this was going.

"Seem familiar ? This is now the tale of your last few days. I brought Maribel here for an... educational trip. To show her my world, both the good and the ugly side of it. To slowly get her used to what lies in wait for her. She would visit Gensokyo, get to realise the importance of this place and the delicate balance of power she was responsible for... and, after having explained everything to her, I would restart."

The vision, which was been showing our misadventures in Gensokyo at an incredibly sped-up pace, suddenly returned to the clearing with the tree.

"I want to restart. This time, without the confusion, the fear, and the suffering. Using my mistakes, I would build a better Gensokyo, and a better Yukari." She snapped her fingers, and all of a sudden, the vision vanished, returning to the night sky with the full moon. Maribel was silent, paler than I had ever seen her before. I felt like I had regained control of my body (without having fully realised that I had lost it in the first place), so I approached her.

...

"Don't." Yukari and Maribel spoke in unison. I halted, surprised at the violence with which she spoke. In a softer tone, Maribel pursued. "Please, Renko, don't. You've seen everything now. You know what's in store for me. Anything you do will only make this more painful for the both of us." I hesitated on the spot, still wanting to approach her. Yukari took over from there, in her most menacing tone.

"She's right and you know it. Preventing this will not help her. Her powers will grow, and she will lose herself in them. By stepping in now, you're denying her a chance at guidance. You'll be forcing her to go through the pain and confusion I did. Is that really what you want for your friend ?"

I was lost as to what to do. _I can't abandon her. I promised I'd protect her from Yukari, that we'd get out of this together. And yet, what if she's right ? What if I would just be causing her more suffering ?_ I could feel my resolve weakening : I had made up my mind to help her, but now that I realised that I may actually be hurting her...

"That's right," Yukari said, sticking the nail in the coffin, "You understand now, don't you ? It's like your friend has been telling you all this time : there's nothing you can do to prevent this. She will inevitably become a youkai. All you can do is let her go, to reduce her pain as much as possible."

Maribel and Yukari then spoke in perfect unison, creating an unearthly harmony in their voices.

"So, please, Renko. Let me go. Don't hurt me any more. Forget about me and move on."

A gap had opened behind Maribel, who had stood up and turned towards it. As if I was in a nightmare, I wanted to call out, to run, but I was paralysed. _This is it, isn't it ? This is where I lose her. And I can't do anything about it._ The gap had opened, cracking open the air in front of her like the smile that had appeared on Yukari's face.

"Don't leave...", was all I managed to murmur.

 _Powerless. Pathetic. I couldn't do it._

"I'm sorry, Renko," was the last thing she told me before entering the gap.

 _I've failed._

After one last sad look from Maribel, the gap closed, separating me from her forever. I fell to my knees and started sobbing quietly.

 _I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help her._ A mix between a sob and a laugh escaped my lips. _In fact, I was most useful when I decided to give up ! What a friend I am, making it worse for her this whole time !_

 _And of course, I never told her I loved her._

 _Maybe that's a good thing. It would only have made things harder for both of us, wouldn't it ?_

I had given up. All I could do now was continue to cry my eyes out, alone under the full moon. It was over.

...

A brief flash of pain passed through my stomach; I opened my eyes and, to my great surprise, I saw that a katana had pierced through my body. I was too shocked to react; as the world grew dark, I fell backwards, and saw who my assassin was.

"I'm very sorry for the inconvenience !" Apologised the girl in the green skirt who had given me the letter.

...

I then lost all feeling in my body as the world around me became black.


	9. Rekindled

My body was heavy; I couldn't move it at all. I couldn't see anything, either.

 _Am I dead ?_

My thoughts didn't go much further than that. I felt like I was floating deep underwater, so deep that I was beyond light itself.

 _Light..._

 _Too far from her light..._

As I remembered her, I felt like I sank further, down into even colder depths.

 _That's right. She's gone. And now I'm dead._

Down and down I went, colder and colder. The weight of my limbs wasn't as noticeable : I was losing feeling in them completely.

Then her smile entered my mind.

 _No. I refuse._

Something started burning around me, or inside me, chasing away the cold and the weight.

Anger.

At myself, for letting her get taken away.

Jealousy. Resentment.

That I wouldn't be able to live my life with her.

Love.

 _Merry._

The cold had gone, and faster and faster, I felt like I was rising, the darkness getting brighter and brighter as I hurtled towards the surface.

 _I won't let her go !_

 _..._

I broke through the surface, suddenly sitting up, gasping for breath as if I'd been holding it for far too long. I could finally see again, and the sight before me would have taken my breath away if I wasn't already struggling to regain it.

I seemed to be in some kind of garden : it was basked in an eerily beautiful purple glow, giving an ethereal feeling to the odd, wispy plants that were growing everywhere . Semi-transparent floating blobs drifted around lazily in the air, floating between where I was standing and a large mansion I could see in the distance. _Ghosts... I really must be dead._ I could barely focus on that fact, though, for my attention was captivated by and enormous cherry tree standing tall on top of a small hill. It seemed to draw everything in, what with the winding staircase leading up to it, and the way that light itself almost seemed to be absorbed into it; I felt like it was inviting me to lose myself within it.

...

"Sorry about that ! I trust that you're all right , right ?" I let out a startled yelp : leaning over me from behind, the girl who had run me through with the sword stood there with an apologetic smile on her face. I scrambled to my feet, putting a safe bit of distance between us, and assuming what I hoped was a defensive stance.

"You killed me !", I accused, indignantly. She looked a little taken back by my accusation.

"No, I didn't ! Or at least, not irreparably so !", she replied, waving her hands energetically, as if to dissipate my apprehension. _What the hell is "not irreparably dead" supposed to mean ?_

"I saw you ! I saw your sword go right through me ! Yes, that sword !", I shouted, pointing at the weapon that she was meekly attempting to cover over with her hands. "Don't try to hide it !"

"Oh, um, this swords ?", she asked sheepishly. I answered with a glare. "Well, as far as swords go, it didn't hurt much, did it ?" She saw that I had been taken aback by that question, and so a look of triumph overcame her as she kept up the pressure. "That's what I thought ! I bet _you_ couldn't kill someone without them even feeing it, could you ?" She quickly regained her apologetic tone when she realised what she had just said. "N-Not that you're dead ! Properly, at least !"

I had had enough of this nonsensical conversation. "Look, tell me, why on earth did you decide to kill me like that ?" She seemed to realise that she had gotten distracted, and so, in the same movement as when she had handed me the letter, she straightened herself up, growing serious.

"Yes. About that." She cleared her throat. "My mistress wishes to speak to you in person, and this was the fastest, most efficient way of getting you to her." I raised an eyebrow, dubious.

"What, is your mistress also dead or something ?" She nodded enthusiastically.

"Why yes, of course ! She's the most important dead person around ! So when you meet her, make sure to show a little respect," she added in a scolding tone. It had been a rhetorical question, so I was surprised at her answer.

"So does that mean you're dead too...?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, I'm half-ghost, you see," she stated as if it was the most normal thing in the world. _Half-ghost. Why the hell not._ Now that I knew why I was here, I wanted to meet this mistress of hers. I guessed that she must be the "concerned friend" who had written the letter to me so long ago, which only heightened my curiosity.

"Shall we get going, then ? The girl asked me, noticing I had stopped paying much attention to her. I accepted, and so we set off towards the cherry tree. Our footsteps echoed all around us in an eerie fashion; it was only then that I realised just how quiet this place was.

"By the way, my name is Youmu Konpaku. I'm the Netherworld's gardener, tending to mistress Yuyuko's gardens." _The Netherworld ?_ I remembered the brief sight of it I had seen with Maribel, back in one of our first outings as the Sealing Club. _The strange glow about this place is the same as back then, come to think of it..._

"Wait, you really are a gardener ?" She looked hurt by my lack of faith in her words.

"You didn't believe me...?"

"Sorry, it's just that... swords aren't usually used for gardening where I come from." She chuckled.

"These aren't for gardening, they're for guard duty ! I guess I'm a bit of a multitasker, huh...", she added to herself. "It's a zen garden, anyway. Rakes are better than swords for that kind of work," she stated as if I was still listening to her.

 _Yuyuko... She's a close friend of Yukari's, then._ I felt a pinch of jealousy just thinking about it. _I'm going to meet the person with who she replaces me with._ I tried to shake the thought out of my head. _No, I should be happy that she found an equally long-lived friend. After all, whatever happens, I'll be dead long before her..._ Seeing how lively Youmu was, I wondered if death would really be such a problem after all.

...

We had been walking for a few minutes now, and had arrived under the cherry tree.

"Well, the mistress asked me to bring you to this spot, so... I suppose we wait here ?" _Don't ask me !_

"Welcome, Renko." A soothing yet unearthly voice came from above me; looking up, I saw a tall woman dressed in an expensive-looking blue kimono descending towards us from the tree, her medium-length pink hair floating around her face like a light mist. She landed on the ground a few paces in front of me, making no sound whatsoever as her elegant sandals made contact with the large black cobblestones lining the ground around the tree.

"I am Yuyuko Saigyouji, Princess of the Netherworld, and close friend to Yukari Yakumo." She smiled. "I imagine you have many questions, no ? As long as you're here, do not worry about being pressed for time. We may speak at our leisure." Youmu, who had gone to stand by her side, looked a little upset at this.

"You're going to stay here ? Wouldn't it be better to return to the mansion, so that I can serve you both a cup of-"

"Hush, Youmu !", Yuyuko hissed. She then whispered in a childish tone, "it's far more impressive if we talk here, don't you think ?" Youmu curtseyed, choosing to say no more, whilst the ghostly princess turned her attention back to me as if I hadn't heard anything. I remained silent; I did have a lot of questions, but I didn't know where to start. _And anyway, is there even any point ? It's all over now._

"First of all, I would like to apologise for my friend's... impatience," she resumed in her majestic tone, which had lost a little of its effect after the little aparté with her gardener. "You see, when I gave you that letter, I hoped that you'd be able to get through to her, and appeal to her... better side. I didn't quite grasp how strongly she had set her mind on her plan. I apologize for giving you such vague instructions, leading you to our current situation." She bowed her head slightly in a sign of apology. Since it had been mentioned, I took this as an opportunity to ask something I had been wondering about.

"That letter, from what I could tell, seemed like it was hundreds of years old. How could you possibly have addressed it to me ?" She smiled calmly, like she had been expecting that question.

"Yukari has already shown you how she turned into a youkai, that I know. She always skips little details, though. For example, she neglected to tell you that, when she was finally overtaken by her visions, the borders she was struggling with had become terribly unstable; she fell through them, not only moving through space but also through time. The newly-born Yukari predated her old life by over a millennium." I nodded slowly : I knew time travel must have had something to do with this, but it being said like this made it clearer.

"So wait," I asked, suddenly hopeful, "does that mean that, way back then, she talked to you about me ? That she remembered me ?" Her smile widened, even warmer now.

"Did you think she could forget about you ? She only wishes she could !" She added with a chuckle. I didn't know what to think.

"Let me put things in order for you. I met her a short time after she had started to fully master her powers. Back then, I was still alive..." After a pause, she resumed. "Things happened. Things went wrong. But in the end, her power helped me become what I am today," she said, doing a little spin and smiling, "and to be honest, I'm not complaining. Anyway, we had become friends, both happy to find someone who we wouldn't outlive any time soon. Well, depending on what you mean by "live". We talked a lot, about anything and everything. One day, we ended up talking about our memories. I don't remember anything of my old life, which I think is for the best. Especially considering how she talked about hers..."

She stopped smiling, and walked up closer to me. Arriving in front of me, she lifted my chin up with one finger, making me look into her entrancing eyes. "She told me that, even after all these years, there was something she regretted. She forgot little details of her past life, just like anyone does, but the end of her human life was firmly burnt into her mind, as you already know from those vivid memories she showed you. Amongst those memories, there was something that, no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't forget. Do you have any idea what it might have been ?"

I wanted to say I knew. I wanted to be right. I would have given anything to hear her confirm what the little voice of hope was whispering in the back of my mind. _Please tell me that it was me._ Yuyuko's smile, however warm it may have been, was torture to me as she made me wait; I couldn't bring myself to say what I was thinking, I couldn't allow myself to feel any hope.

"You know the answer already. It was you, Renko. You were her one regret. It was you that she could never forget."

My heart was pounding in my chest. It didn't really make sense : I knew she hadn't forgotten me, since she had even referred to me by name, but... _She had wanted to forget me. That must mean something, right ?_

"That's right. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget you. Believe me, she tried. She had a plan, you see. But before she attempted anything, she wanted me to know, as a... backup, I suppose. She told me everything about you, how, back when she was still human, you were her only friend; you listened to her, no matter how crazy everything she said seemed. With her, she didn't feel so alone when faced with her visions. As you know, though, in your future, she took a decision, one which she would regret for over a millennium afterwards."

 _She had decided not to tell me about the increase in her powers. She thought she was protecting me. But I want to be able to protect her ! I don't want her to be alone as she slowly loses herself !_

"It was from then on that everything started going downhill. But you know that already by now. After she became a youkai, she was full of regret. She had let herself lose the one person who could have helped her, and now that it was too late, she was left only with the memories of a friendship lost. She had secretly hoped that, even after she distanced herself from you, that you'd still come and find her, and help her... but you never came. Although, it's a bit unfair to refer to that future Renko as "you" at this point, I think."

Her words hit hard. I didn't want to believe that I'd just abandon her like that... _But if I felt like she had wanted me gone, that she had rejected me, no matter how much I'd want to, I doubt I would have the strength to fight her to allow me to help her..._

 _My future self is just as weak as my current self, I see._

"As her regret burned the brightest, her powers were still young. She didn't think she'd actually be able to do anything about it. So she just stewed in her regret... and in what she probably thought was resentment towards you."

Even after everything she had done these last few days, I had actually started feeling sorry for Yukari. _After all, underneath everything, it really is Merry buried down there..._

"By the time she met me, she had already grown... harder. She had created a sort of shell around her emotions. For someone like her, it was a necessity. However, it made her miss out on a simple idea that could have solved all these problems. Instead, the plan she came up with was something much more complicated, which she told me that very same day, after having revealed all her regrets to me." She ended this sentence with a long sight.

"She had decided to seal her own memories. She just wanted to forget, to not feel the burning pain of regret for so long. I wasn't sure if she could : I warned her that I could be dangerous. That there might be a better way. She wasn't listening, though. She went ahead and tried anyway."

I was anxiously waiting on her every word. _I never imagined she'd have gone that far just to forget... to forget about me._ A bitter chuckle escaped my lips. _What an awful friend I am if she felt the need to use magic just to erase her memories of me._ Yuyuko then continued.

"She failed. She didn't succeed in sealing her memories of you, and so she didn't forget about you. In a last resort attempt, she tried what she thought would be second-best to her first plan : sealing away every positive feeling towards you. She thought that, without them, she'd stop feeling the regret that had been gnawing at her, you see."

I could tell that this was important, that what she was saying was the source of all our problems over the last few days.

"Seeing you under a new light, you were now just an annoyance; she might even have managed to convince herself that you were the cause of all the sadness, all the regret that she had felt all those years. Not because she missed you, though, but because you had betrayed her. That's what she said, anyway. The troubled times she had experienced in becoming a youkai ? She viewed them as unnecessary, or to be more precise, said that they had been hindering her. If she could just go back and cut off the problem at its source, then she'd be able to improve everything for herself, she thought."

 _Cut off the problem at its source. Yes, that's all I am, after all._

"Of course, she found excuses. Showing her past self Gensokyo, creating a better world, all that was just a cover-up story, a lie to cover up the fact that deep down, she was doing all this just to justify erasing you from her past. She wanted to restart, this time, distancing her past self from you before becoming a youkai. She thought she might be able to make you hate her; it was quite a surprise to her how easily you forgave Maribel when Yukari made her sacrifice two other people so easily."

I remembered. I had been shaken to the core by that event. But I trusted her. I knew something was wrong, that it wasn't quite Maribel. _Although, if it was Yukari controlling her, then, in a way... isn't it her ?_ Yuyuko saw the look on my face and laughed softly.

"You don't believe your friend could do something so manipulative, even after becoming a youkai ? Let me tell you something : eternity changes people. Personally, I've become mellower," she added as an afterthought. Growing serious again, she continued.

"She's changed so much since she was the person you know. She's gone through wars. She's separated Gensokyo from your world, turning it into an independent land of its own. She's used to scheming, manipulating, lying and deceit, so it's only natural that somewhere along the way, she would end up trying to deceive herself. She underestimated herself quite poorly, I'd say..." She looked pensive, pausing in her explanation, but I wanted her to carry on. I needed to know everything.

"So, she lied to herself. Her past self. Getting near the end of her days ? The whole "balance between the worlds" rubbish ? Lies. And yet she knew they were necessary. Necessary to make Maribel think all this is necessary. Necessary, because she didn't want Maribel's feelings for you to get in the way of her plan."

My heart leapt at those words. _Her feelings for me._

"What, you weren't sure that she had feelings for you ? My, you aren't very good at reading her signs, are you ?" I felt myself blush, and stared down at the ground. Despite that, I felt like I was balancing on the edge of something, not quite allowing myself to take the plunge. _Joy, that's what it is. I'm too scared to believe her so easily._

"Your entire time here has been designed to create tension between Maribel and you, as she hoped to crush your friendship and put a good distance between you two; if she managed to make Maribel believe that everything she said was necessary, she thought that it would make it easier for her to forget you, and with her guidance, she'd be able to transition into a youkai without all the confusion that she went through last time. Alas, that was the reasoning of someone who has blocked off their emotions a long time ago. Because of that, she can't quite understand how strong the bond between the two of you is. She'd restart, and maybe save herself some confusion when it comes to using her powers, but the heartbreak from being wrenched from you ? That'll last a lifetime. Another one. A very long lifetime, at that. The truth is, even after having blocked off her feelings towards you, there's still something there, even if she won't admit. Something burning deep inside her, very dim, on the verge of going out, but still there; it's this inexplicable resilience of her own feelings that she hates so much, that'll drive her to restart as many times as she thinks is necessary to get rid of it." She then looked me straight in the eyes, hers burning with determination.

"This is why she must be stopped. As her friend, it's my job to stop her from making such a big mistake for a second time. Sadly, I'm powerless to help. If I told her she that her plan would amount to nothing because her past self would miss you, in her current state, she'd dismiss that thought in a second. That's why it needs to be you, Renko. You need to break the seal on her emotions. Make her remember the real reason behind all this. Make her remember what Maribel feels for you."

...

I felt from her words a genuine desire to help her friend. I, too, obviously wanted to help. _But doesn't she realise it's too late ?_ I looked up at her, trying my best to hide the sadness in my eyes.

"I want to help. Of course I do. She means so much to me. But... but she's gone, isn't she ? Yukari took her away, leaving me to..." Yuyuko shook her head, her eyes closed.

"Yukari won't have finished with her yet. No, I know her well enough to be sure about that : before turning your friend into mine, she'll make sure to go over everything multiple times with her, teaching her everything she can, getting her into the right mindset... vainly attempting to make it so that Maribel forgets about you. Yes, we still have time." She saw that I was about to protest, and so she cut me off again. "Might you be wondering how to find her ? That won't be hard either. It would be strange for me to not even know where my friend's house was, wouldn't it ?"

 _Her house ?_ After the voids filled with staring eyes and the incredible powers she wielded, it felt strange to think that she would have just returned to her house. _It sounds so... normal. Banal, even._ Strangely, I felt a speck of hope from that thought : _maybe there is a faint bit of humanity left in her, and so, maybe there might be a chance that she'd listen to me..._

Then I remembered how she'd acted so far. How she'd been so unwilling to listen to me that she forcefully controlled Maribel's mind to separate us. _She's not going to listen. Even if I get another chance, what could I possibly do ?_ I stared down at my feet, the brief instant of hope already long gone. Yuyuko took my head in her hands, once again making me stare deep into her eyes.

"What's the matter, Renko ? Feeling overwhelmed ? Cheer up : you're getting another chance at saving your friend." I averted my eyes; there was something almost scary in how deep her eyes seemed to go. _She seems so sure that I'll succeed, but what can I do ?_

"Yukari... she won't listen to me. She hasn't listened to anything I've said so far, so why would she, now ? Besides, she'll insist that Merry is necessary to her plans, that she needs her for Gensokyo and everything else she's been feeding her in her dreams so far..."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe Yukari won't listen to you." She paused, pretending to ponder something with a sly little smile on the corner of her lips. "If you get to the point where she starts to insist that Maribel is necessary, though, that already means she's listening to you. If you can get that far, tell her I've got it covered. That I have a plan that will make everyone satisfied. And if you're worried that Yukari won't listen to you even far enough for that, well... Maybe it isn't Yukari you should be focusing on ?"

 _A plan ?_ The way she said it was ominous, but what she had said afterwards made me even more perplexed. _Not Yukari ? The whole point of this is to convince Yukari ! Why on earth would-_

 _Oh. Merry._

Yuyuko nodded, before continuing. "There's something you need to tell Maribel, isn't there ? Something that's been a regret of your own, and yet that you haven't been able to find the courage to say. That's the key to all this. If anything has the power to break the seal Yukari placed on her own feelings, it'll be that. You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you ?"

I did. _Of course I do. Haven't I been worrying about that this whole time ? Worrying that I won't get the chance to tell her, and yet always pushing it off until later ? And how, after I saw her vanish into the void with yukari, I thought that it was over, that I had lost my last chance to tell her ? Even after that, even after being told I'll have one final chance to tell her... can ?_

I felt my knees go weak as I started breathing heavily. As I fell to the floor, I covered my eyes with my hands.

 _Even after everything I've seen here, this is what I'm most afraid of. Rejection. Rejection by the person who means everything to me. I can't do it. Even if she disappears, I could live on in the realm of maybes, lying to myself, saying that maybe if I had told her, she'd reciprocate my feelings. If I tell her and she rejects me though, it's over. No room for doubt. No room for the doubt that I've been living in for the last few years. It's all or nothing, and I don't think I can handle becoming nothing._

 _..._

Yuyuko and Youmu, after I had fallen to the floor, had started whispering to each other. I looked up at them, just as they nodded to each other. Youmu then approached me, drawing her sword; Yuyuko then started to explain their plan.

"Youmu has two swords. The one she has drawn now, Hakurouken, is special. You see, Renko, your heart is full of confusion and doubt : you know what must be done, and yet your mind is clouded over by that doubt. I assure you, you have nothing to worry about regarding your friend's feeling, and yet I realise that, no matter how much I tell you that, your confusion will still get the best of you. That's where the sword comes into play." Youmu held it in front of me, so that I could get a proper look at it. It was a lot shorter than her other sword, but looked just as sharp. I gulped.

"You see, Hakurouken has the power to dispel the confusion in people's hearts. If you accept our offer to use it on you, then you'll easily be able to find the courage in your heart to do what must be done."

I was nervous : did I really want to agree to having a sword run through me again ? Granted, it didn't hurt much the first time, but... _But this is what I need. I just need the courage to tell her. If this will help me with that, then so be it._ I nodded.

"I accept." In a much less certain tone, I then added, "It won't hurt too much, will it...?"

"No. Well, not too much," Yuyuko said with a little laugh.

Youmu looked at me and nodded, then asked me to stand up. My heart was beating fast, but I obeyed her. She then bent her knees slightly, taking an offensive stance, and, before I even saw her move, she had dashed behind me, driving the sword through me and out the other side in one fluid motion. I didn't feel anything for a second as I stood there, slightly bewildered, and then the feeling caught up with me : it wasn't quite pain, definitely not what I should have felt after being cut in half with a sword, but more like a flash of discomfort, like a throbbing backache or headache in the pit of my stomach. It faded as quickly as it had come, and as I checked, I saw that it had left no trace on my skin.

Youmu bowed briefly, as Yuyuko clapped her hands. "You did it, Renko ! Can't you feel the courage just flowing through you ?"

I...suppose I did. _As the sword went through me, I did feel a weight being lifted... Yes, that was definitely my doubts, wasn't it ? With them gone, I'm sure I can tell her ! Yes, it must have worked, because I feel like I can tell her anything now !_ Youmu, who had returned to Yuyuko's side, was sharing a knowing grin with her mistress; they quickly wiped it off their faces when they noticed I was looking at them. Yuyuko cleared her throat before speaking.

"Everything is up to you now, Renko. Have faith in yourself. Faith is all you need to succeed here."

Without waiting for my reply, she took a step forwards, and ran her index and middle finger over both my eyes. I blacked out instantly.

...

"Good luck," I heard as a whisper, coming from everywhere around me. "Our plan is simple. Go reclaim your life with her. Life it to the fullest. On death's door, I will be there for her. I will take her back to Yukari. Until then, live."


	10. Remembered

I opened my eyes as those words still lingered in my ears. _So that was her plan._ I could see why she didn't tell it to me straight away : I might have protested, saying something like I never want her to be taken away. _Well, what has to be done must be done. And right now I can't be worrying about that. I need to find her._

It wasn't hard to guess where I was meant to go : I was a few paces away from a Japanese style mansion, similar to the one I had seen off in the distance in the Netherworld, although much smaller, more house-sized. All around it was a forest that I could barely see into : not because it was dense, but because it seemed to... not quite be there. I felt like if I tried to walk into the forest, I'd arrive at the edge of something, maybe of reality itself. Or maybe I'd loop right back to where I had started. Knowing what Yukari was capable of, nothing would really have surprised me at this point.

I approached to mansion with a feeling of purpose. _It's all or nothing. I can't let it be nothing._

 _..._

I had appeared to the side of the building, and so, I circled it to find the entrance. As the sliding door at the front on the house came into view from around the corner, I noticed someone standing in front of it. _Wait, isn't she...?_

I recognised her as the kitsune from the tofu stand I had seen earlier today. Seeing me, she gave me the same strange smile as before, beckoning me to come closer.

"I assume you're here to visit the mistress. Am I correct ?", she asked as I got closer to her. Her hands had gone back to holding each other inside her sleeves, giving her the air of a statue guarding the entrance. I nodded. She grinned.

"Then you may enter. I cannot guarantee that the mistress will be pleased to see you, however." She took a step back into the house, before turning her back to me and walking slowly down the corridor within. Hesitantly, I followed her, only really able to see her nine huge golden tails that almost filled the whole corridor. As I penetrated into the corridor, a feeling of unease fell over me. _This is the same feeling as when I was talking to Yukari. She's must be nearby._

The corridor felt like it went on forever, but I assumed that it was my nerves that were the cause of that. The Kitsune said nothing the whole way, until we arrived in front of another sliding door; I could hear voices coming from inside. _Merry ? No... Yukari ? It's getting harder to tell them apart..._

"I will now let you say whatever it is you need to say to my mistress. Whatever happens from here on is up to the two of you," she said, after stopping abruptly and turning towards me.

"Good luck," she whispered with a little grin, reaching to slide open the door.

...

The next few moments felt like they happened in slow motion. _As soon as she opens the door, that's it. It's my turn to act. It's now or never. If I don't tell her everything now, I'll never get another chance._ Her hand gripped the edge of the door, and started to pull it open. _I can't afford to fail. I can't let my doubts prevent me from acting. This isn't just for me, it's for her sake, too._ My heart was beating at an incredible pace, and I was feeling faint, but I forced myself to remain strong. _Be your usual weak self anytime you want, Renko. But not now. For once, have faith in yourself._

The door slid fully open. In the room in front of me sat Yukari and Maribel on opposite sides of the table, drinking tea.

 _All or nothing, Renko._

 _..._

I heard a polite little cough from behind me. "Excuse me, mistress Yukari, a guest is here to speak with you. I took the liberty of letting her in, but, if you wish for me to remove her, then by all means..."

Yukari was the first to look up at the sound of her servant's voice; seeing me, an angry frown furrowed her brow. By the time the kitsune had finished talking, Maribel had looked up slowly, as if she was either very tired or very sad; either way, as if she didn't seem to care who the new arrival may have been. Her expression transformed into one of surprise when she saw that it was me. Yukari stood up, full of menace.

"We have already gone over this," Yukari started, barely concealing her rage. "We have nothing more to talk about. So if you would please remove her-"

"Wait !" Pleaded Maribel. "Wait, please, let her talk. Don't take her away." The servant remained at the door, making no effort to remove me. I had to act now if I wanted to get my chance.

"Yukari is right, I have nothing more to say to her." I turned my attention to Maribel, beautiful Maribel, still glowing despite the red, puffy rings around her eyes and the sadness all about her. It was to Maribel, my Maribel, that I said, "It's to you that I need to talk."

...

My whole chest was in pain from how fast my heart was beating. The pressure from Yukari's stare was so intense that I felt like I would melt into a jellied mess at any moment, or that I'd crumble into dust and get blown away by any minor gust of wind. I knew I had arrived at the moment of truth, the crucial moment that everything was laying on. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to tell her. I still feared rejection. But more was at stake than my own feelings. _For just a second, I have to push away my fears, and let her know._

 _..._

"Merry, I... I..." I gulped. _Do it, you weak, useless idiot ! This is the only time you might actually be able to help her. So do it !_

 _..._

"Merry, I love you."

...

I felt like I just lost all weight in my body. I was light, lighter than helium; my words had taken with them all the fears and apprehensions I had been carrying almost since the first time I had met Maribel. It had finally been said. What happened next was no longer up to me. I had done my part. _For a second, a single, short second, you were strong._ And now, I just had to wait for her answer.

...

Maribel's cup dropped from her hands, clattering to the floor. She stared at me with an expression I had never seen before, as her eyes welled up with tears. "Renko... I... why now ? Why wait so long, why wait until it's already too late ? If only you..." She was sobbing now; Yukari, on the other hand, had a very different reaction. As I confessed my love, her anger was replaced by shock : she looked like she had just been struck by something, as she stared at me, wide-eyed. She had placed her hands on her temples, as if burdened by a terrible headache, shaking her head slowly.

...

And then, in one swift movement, she stretched out her arm and flung a small object right at me. I didn't even have time to see what it was until it embedded itself into my chest. _Oh, it looks like a kunai. I thought you weren't supposed to throw these..._

My last sight was of Yukari, her arm still outstretched from her throw, staring at me with a look of horror on her face.

 _Damn, all I've done these last few days is black out..._

 _..._

The room grew dark. Or, in reality, there was no more room, or floor, or ceiling : only darkness. _My old friend._

"Now now, aren't you going a little far ?" A familiar, ethereal whisper sounded like it came from behind me : I turned around, and saw Yukari, down on her knees, still clutching her head in her arms, but rocking it violently back and forth now.

"Stop trying to flee your past, my dear friend. It never wanted to flee from you. Let it return to you, Yukari."

At that, the darkness split apart as Yukari let out a wail : borders were opening everywhere around us. I remembered each and every event in them.

Maribel's first encounter with me.

The 53-minute train journey on the Hiroshige.

The discussion at the café where we talked about space travel and the moon.

All the times we had walked together, talked until late at night.

The times we had held hands. The times we had hugged each other.

The times I had cheered her up when she was feeling down. Even the rare few times that she had comforted me when I was crying.

This retrospective mural was all around us, showcasing the ins and outs of our relationship. It wasn't the same was I remembered it, though; here, the spotlight was on me. It was like she had never taken her eyes off me, like she had savoured every moment we spent together. _It's like my memories, yet flipped around, as if I was the beautiful, radiant one. Did she really feel the same way I did all this time ?_

Cracks were starting to appear between the borders; Yukari had let her hands fall to the floor, staring at the ground, defeated. In a sudden crash, everything around us came tumbling down, the darkness giving way to the daylight of the room we had just been in.

...

Maribel saw me straight away, and came rushing over to me with a dreadfully worried look on her face. I had, apparently, fallen to the ground, because she scooped me up into her arms.

"Oh, Renko ! You're alive ! I was so worried when you..." I put my hand to my chest, where the kunai had buried itself into my skin. It had gone. _Being on the Princess of the Netherworld's good side has its perks, I guess._ I managed a weak smile, to which Maribel responded by burying her face against me.

"Renko, I love you too. Of course I do. I've loved you for so long, Renko !"

...

I had told her. She hadn't rejected me. I lay there in her arms, content; had I just been killed ? Was there an angry youkai in the room a few paces away, ready to tear me apart ? I didn't care. For I was in Maribel's arms. And she had just told me she loved me too. I closed my eyes. _I've done my part._

 _..._

I felt Maribel lift her head, turning it towards where Yukari must have been.

"I'm sorry, Yukari, but now I realise that I can't... I can't give up on my human life just yet. I... I have too much I still need to live for." I felt her hand stroking my head. _This is nice_. "I don't even care if you refuse to bring us back to our time, or even our world. I won't give up the rest of my life to become a youkai. I want to spend it with her."

I heard Yukari rising to her feet, and walk closer to us : her footsteps were slow and uneven, so I opened my eyes to see her. She looked completely drained, and there was no trace of her usual imposing aura.

"Maribel, you know you can't. If you refuse, the Gensokyo will... I will... we'll both vanish. Don't you see ? You can't escape this." She had tried to regain some power to her voice, but it felt more like a feeble last attempt.

 _Wait, I'm not finished here. There's still something I need to do._

Smiling at Maribel, I got up out of her arms and walked over to Yukari. It felt strange being in front of her yet not feeling like I was being crushed by her presence. In a low whisper, I told her Yuyuko's plan, that Maribel and I would live together until her last breath, and then, but only then, would Yuyuko return her to Yukari.

...

Yukari started laughing.

...

At first, it was a quiet little sound, under her breath, still muffled under the weight of the emotions she had gone through these last few minutes. Then it grew into an audible laugh, growing and growing in volume until she was roaring with laughter, little tears forming at the corners of her eyes. I stood there, confused; a glance towards Maribel confirmed that she was just as clueless as I was.

...

After a while, it died down. She looked straight at me, her cheeks stained with tears and a wide grin on her face.

"I've been terribly stupid, haven't I ?" I wanted to nod, but didn't quite dare.

"Now that everything has returned to me, I remember telling her. Telling her about you. I don't really know what crossed my mind when I decided to burden her with the memories I wanted gone. But it looks like she kept them for herself, all this time..." She walked over to the table, sitting back down in front of her cup of tea as if nothing had happened. Seeing that I was still standing there, she motioned towards Maribel and me to come join her at the table. I was a little apprehensive to do so, but when I saw that Maribel has taken a seat, I went to sit next to her.

...

Yukari stared at the two of us for a long time, her gaze passing from me to Maribel, and back again. Finally, she sighed deeply.

"My my, I did let myself get carried far off track from my plan, didn't I ? I didn't really want any of this. There was such a simple resolution to all these problems, and yet I didn't see it. I'm lucky I can count on a friend like her to keep me on track, even if it was through very elaborate means... You helped too, though," she said, looking right at me.

My first instinct was to feel a little offended, but then I thought about it. _What have I really done ? I told my best friend that I loved her. I passed on someone else's message. Oh, and I may or may not have died a few times along the way. In truth, I haven't actually done much, have I ?_ I wasn't thinking in my usual, self-deprecating way, though. _It may not have been much, but damn it, it sure felt like it was. And in the end, it was enough, wasn't it ?_ It may have been Yuyuko who had been orchestrating a counter-plan to Yukari's schemes for a few centuries, and she might have had to save me from death and my own doubts more than once, but in the end, I pulled through. _I'm no hero, but I'm still going to feel proud about all this._

 _..._

"If I may ask, Renko, how come, after putting it off for so long, did you manage to confess your love for Maribel ? I've seen a few timelines, and never do you actually pluck up the courage to tell her anything..."

I felt a little embarrassed to tell her the truth. _It does sound quite silly, now that I think about it..._ "Yuyuko has a gardener, who, in turn, has a sword. It's a special sword, you see," I mumbled, paraphrasing Yuyuko. "It has the power to, um, cut away the confusion in people's hearts. Or give them courage, or both maybe ?" Yukari burst out into another fit of laughter.

"My my, Yuyuko, you've really outdone yourself this time. I know the sword you speak of. It has the power to dispel confusion. In phantoms. It sends them to Nirvana." She chuckled again, as I felt myself blushing profusely. "Then again, letting yourself get cut in half by a sword is a show of courage in itself, so I don't think you really needed it in the first place !"

I felt a little stupid. _I had finally found something to give me the courage to tell Merry that I loved her, and it turned out to be a placebo._

 _Then again, that means that I managed all by myself, doesn't it ?_ I looked over at Maribel, she gave me a tired but happy smile, before taking my hand in hers.

...

Yukari, taking a more serious tone, but without the usual menace in it, eventually spoke again.

"You've thoroughly ruined all my plans. You've broken a seal I had created centuries ago. I hope you're happy with yourself, Renko Usami." I felt nervous, but she quickly smiled. "I know I am. You've shown me that, even after all this time, even after all my schemes, I'm still capable of overlooking the most basic of solutions. And that, worst of all, I'm also capable of tricking myself into believing something for multiple centuries, up to the point where I concoct a whole plan founded on those lies. Really, how can I hope to understand the whole of Gensokyo when I can't even understand myself ?" She nodded to herself, smiling. "So thank you, Renko. I won't be making the same mistake twice."

She stood up, walking over to a wall that was empty of all furniture or ornament; passing her hand down it, a gap opened. Through it, I could see... _home._

 _..._

"There's no reason for you two to still be here. You can return to your home, and even to your time." She made a halting motion with her free hand. "There is a condition, though." Suddenly I felt worried. _A condition even after all this can't possibly be good._

"The condition is that you forget all about me. About everything you've done over these last few days."

I felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured over me. _No. No way ! After everything we've been through, after everything we've learned... After I finally managed to tell Merry I love her ? I can't forget that !_

"Why ? Why impose such a condition on us ? It's not like it'll make a difference in the long run, we'll-"

"It will make a difference. I want Maribel to be able to live her life with you to the fullest. If either of you know what lies in store for her, your futures will be tarnished. You won't be able to fully live the way you should." I opened my mouth to protest, but Maribel squeezed my hands in hers, turning me to look into her eyes.

"It's ok, Renko. She's right. If we're to live normally, we can't remember all this. I've sent people to their deaths. I've seen a future in which I lose my humanity. How could I possibly go back to a normal life after that ?" I felt desperate, like I something was being taken away from me, which I was barely clinging on to.

"But, Merry, we finally know how we feel about each other ! It took so much, to finally be able to tell you, and without such a perilous situation as this, I'm not sure that I-" Again, I was cut off.

"Renko," she said, with the warmest smile I had ever seen. "Do you really think we'll be able to forget this ? Besides, if you have to confess your love again, that just means that I'll be able to tell you how I feel about you once again."

She leaned forwards, pulling me into a kiss. I melted against her lips, my mind going blank. I felt her soft hands stroking my face as she kissed me, pulling me into her warmth, sharing the sweet taste of her lips. When she broke the kiss, she moved her lips against my ear, whispering to me.

...

"And every single time, I'll tell you the same thing."

"I love you, Renko."


	11. A Warm Epilogue

"Ready to go, Renko ?"

Maribel stood at the door of our apartment, holding it ajar, smiling back at me. I was still struggling with my bag. _Backpacks aren't designed for these kinds of clothes._

"In a second, Merry !"

I wasn't used to wearing a kimono, but Maribel had insisted on it, so I made an effort in order to please her.

After all, today was our graduation ceremony.

...

It was a warm, sunny day that greeted us as we left our apartment. _The very opposite of that other special day..._ It felt strange, walking down the same street we traversed every day, yet wearing such flashy attire. I felt an odd sense of pride as we made our way to the bus stop, radiant in our happiness together, turning the heads of some passers-by and I strutted down the street hand in hand. Maribel had only grown more beautiful, more mature-looking, over the last two years, which only made we want to broadcast our relationship even more. _Yes, it probably isn't particularly polite. But I don't care. She's mine._ A small giggle of joy escaped my lips; today was a special day, and I was enjoying it to the fullest.

It had definitely brightened up my days to be able to do my whole morning commute with her, right from our apartment to the gates of the university. No longer was there the grey, lightless period that lasted from when I woke up until I got to Maribel's stop. Nowadays, I'd wake up to a burst of colour as Maribel roused me from my sleep with a light kiss on my forehead.

We had started sharing an apartment roughly two years ago. Thinking back to it, it seems almost unreal how everything managed to fit into place, bringing us to the present day. Our relationship feels like a blur of happiness, which all started almost by accident.

...

I still remember the day it had started perfectly. It was a freezing cold winter morning, as we took the bus like usual. The warmth of our breaths had misted up the windows of the bus, isolating us as if we were in our own little world. Maribel had snuggled up to me. _For the warmth, of course_ , I had thought. I looked down at her, and saw her lovely little smile as she rested her head against me, her eyes closed.

Then the words escaped from my mouth, as if on their own accord.

"Merry, I love you."

I was just as surprised as her to hear myself say that. I hadn't planned it at all. _Of course, I had wanted to say it for a long time, but since when did I actually have the courage to say what I meant ?_

After a brief instant of surprise, she smiled.

"I love you too, Renko."

And just like that, it had begun.

...

A few years had passed since then. It had been a little strange at first : we weren't quite sure how we should act after going from friends to lovers. _It wasn't like I had any experience at all..._ In the end, though, nothing changed too dramatically. We still stayed up unto the early hours of the morning, talking about anything and everything. Except now, it was in each other's arms. _And the talking was sometimes interrupted by... other things._

We also still took part in outings as the Sealing Club on regular occasions. In fact, they had only gotten more exciting.

This is because of a change that Maribel had revealed to me soon after we started going out.

...

"You know the visions I have when I'm sleeping ?"

"Of course. What about them ?"

"I no longer only have them when I'm sleeping."

...

I had been worried for her at first, worried that she'd end up losing the ability to tell reality from her visions. _It could be dangerous. She could hurt herself._ She reassured me, though.

"If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I know you're real, Renko. As long as you're with me, I'll always have something anchoring me to reality."

And so, I became her fixed point of reality, the one thing that never changed, the one thing she could count on. _She could always count on me. I'd always protect her, wouldn't I ?_ I didn't mind my role. Sure, it was worrying, knowing that your girlfriend, looking through the same window on the same bus as you, could be staring into another world, or a whole other era. But whenever she seemed to gaze off into the distance, staring, I'm sure, at something that wasn't there, she'd eventually shake her head, turn towards me, and reward me with a smile.

Her smile made everything worth it.

The bus was almost too hot for us as we were driven down this familiar path for the last time. Usually Maribel would be leaning against me, but with the heat, I didn't object to her staying a bit further apart. _I almost miss the cold..._ As familiar as it was, today, it still felt very different. I felt a certain air of superiority to the students from lower years as they poured in at the various stops along the way.

"See, to them, this is just a normal day. But for us... Merry ?"

Maribel was spacing out again. I called her name a few times before she finally reacted.

"Oh, sorry, Renko... Did you want something ?"

"Just to know if you're all right. Was it her again ?" She nodded.

Soon after telling me about her increase in powers, she told me something else that worried me a fair bit.

"Sometimes, when I'm not really listening to anything in particular, I sort of... tune out, you know ? And that's when it happens. I can't actually hear any words being said, but I feel like... I feel like someone's calling me. Reminding me they're there. Waiting for me."

I didn't know what to say. Even now, I don't really know what to think of it. In a way, with everything she's seen over these last few years, hearing a voice didn't sound too dramatic. Yet it was the insistence with which she said it was called her, the way the voice was filled with purpose as it apparently reminded her that it was waiting, that was what worried me.

...

"Still, nothing has happened yet, right ? And even if someone does come for you, there's no way I'd ever let them take you away !" I had said that half-jokingly, and sure enough, Maribel had laughed. As I said it, though, I had a strange feeling of déjà-vu. Like I had already gone through this before, and that, maybe, it wasn't such a joke after all.

...

 _Nah, I must just be thinking of that dream I had where we went to Gensokyo together._

 _..._

 _I wish I remembered it in more detail._


End file.
